Thursday, March 31, 2005
A Little Misunderstanding with Hotel Service
This is a letter from a Cuban who had some trouble expressing himself in English.... For those of you who may not get all the message, a "translation" has been posted below in different color. This is too funny but by no means this intends to offend or aggravate anyone from beautiful Cuba. Therefore, if any of you feel offended or aggravated, please, forgive.
Dier Senior Gerente Jotel:
Now I am tell yu di story jau I was treated at yor jotel.
I cum from miami florida as touris to orlando and estay at yor jotel. When I cum in my room I see der is no shit in my bed. How can I sleep with no shit in my bed? Ay col down de ricepchon and tell dem: -"I wanna shit". Dey tell me "Go to the toilet".. I sey "No, no, I wanna shit in my bed". Dey sey "You betta not shit in yor bed, you sonnawabitch". What is that of sonnawabitch?
I go down for di restoran for breikfast. I order beicon and eggs and two pisses of toast, I getta only one piss oftoast. I tell di waitress and I points to toast. "I wanna piss". She tella me Go to the toilet"... I say "No, No, I wanna piss on my plate". She den say to me: "You piss on yor plate, I col da cops, you sonnawabitch". Secon person who don even know me, and chi col me sonnawabitch! What is that of sonnawabitch?
Later I go a dinner into restoran. Spoon and knife is der but no fock. I tell di waitress "I wanna fock!", and she tell me:- "Sure, everybody wanna fock". I tell her "No, no, you don onderstand me. I wanna fock on di table". She den tell me "So you sonnawabitch, you wanna fock on de table? Get yur ass out of here". So I go to di ricepchon and ask for di bil. I no wanna stay in dis jotel no more. When I have pay di bil, the porter say to me:
"Thank you and piss be with you". I say "piss on you too, you sonnawabitch! If I go back to orlando, I'll never more comma stay in your jotel, you sonnawabitch."
Sinsirly, John Towers From-the-Ass, (Juan Torres Delano)
Translation:
Dear Mr. Hotel Manager:
Now I am telling you the story of how I was treated at your hotel.
I came to Orlando from Miami, Florida as a tourist and stayed in your hotel. When I came to my room I saw there was no sheet on my bed. How could I sleep without a sheet on my bed? I called down the reception and told them: “ I want a sheet.” They told me to go to the toilet. I said, “ No, no, I want a sheet on my bed.“ They said, “You better not sh*t on your bed, you son of a b*tch.” What is that of “son of a b*tch”?
I went down for breakfast to the restaurant. I ordered bacon and eggs and two pieces of toast, I only got one piece of toast. I told the waitress pointing at the toast, “ I want a piece.” She told me “Go to the toilet” I said, “no, no, I want a piece on my plate.” She then said to me, “You piss on your plate, I call the cops, you son of a b*tch.” Second person who doesn’t even know me, and called me “son of a b*tch.” What is that of “son of a b*tch.”
Later, I went for dinner to the restaurant. There were spoon and knife, but no fork. I told the waitress, “I want a fork!” and she told me, “Sure, everybody wants to f*ck.” I told her, “No, no you don’t understand me. I want a fork on the table.” She then told me, “So you son of a b*tch, you want to f*ck on the table? Get your a*s out of here.” So I went to the reception and asked for the bill. I didn’t want to stay in this hotel any more. When I paid the bill, the bellboy said to me: “Thank you and peace be with you.” I said, “Peace on you , too, you son of a b*tch! If I come back to Orlando, I will never come and stay in your hotel, you son of a b*tch.”
Sincerely,
Juan Torres Delano
Dier Senior Gerente Jotel:
Now I am tell yu di story jau I was treated at yor jotel.
I cum from miami florida as touris to orlando and estay at yor jotel. When I cum in my room I see der is no shit in my bed. How can I sleep with no shit in my bed? Ay col down de ricepchon and tell dem: -"I wanna shit". Dey tell me "Go to the toilet".. I sey "No, no, I wanna shit in my bed". Dey sey "You betta not shit in yor bed, you sonnawabitch". What is that of sonnawabitch?
I go down for di restoran for breikfast. I order beicon and eggs and two pisses of toast, I getta only one piss oftoast. I tell di waitress and I points to toast. "I wanna piss". She tella me Go to the toilet"... I say "No, No, I wanna piss on my plate". She den say to me: "You piss on yor plate, I col da cops, you sonnawabitch". Secon person who don even know me, and chi col me sonnawabitch! What is that of sonnawabitch?
Later I go a dinner into restoran. Spoon and knife is der but no fock. I tell di waitress "I wanna fock!", and she tell me:- "Sure, everybody wanna fock". I tell her "No, no, you don onderstand me. I wanna fock on di table". She den tell me "So you sonnawabitch, you wanna fock on de table? Get yur ass out of here". So I go to di ricepchon and ask for di bil. I no wanna stay in dis jotel no more. When I have pay di bil, the porter say to me:
"Thank you and piss be with you". I say "piss on you too, you sonnawabitch! If I go back to orlando, I'll never more comma stay in your jotel, you sonnawabitch."
Sinsirly, John Towers From-the-Ass, (Juan Torres Delano)
Translation:
Dear Mr. Hotel Manager:
Now I am telling you the story of how I was treated at your hotel.
I came to Orlando from Miami, Florida as a tourist and stayed in your hotel. When I came to my room I saw there was no sheet on my bed. How could I sleep without a sheet on my bed? I called down the reception and told them: “ I want a sheet.” They told me to go to the toilet. I said, “ No, no, I want a sheet on my bed.“ They said, “You better not sh*t on your bed, you son of a b*tch.” What is that of “son of a b*tch”?
I went down for breakfast to the restaurant. I ordered bacon and eggs and two pieces of toast, I only got one piece of toast. I told the waitress pointing at the toast, “ I want a piece.” She told me “Go to the toilet” I said, “no, no, I want a piece on my plate.” She then said to me, “You piss on your plate, I call the cops, you son of a b*tch.” Second person who doesn’t even know me, and called me “son of a b*tch.” What is that of “son of a b*tch.”
Later, I went for dinner to the restaurant. There were spoon and knife, but no fork. I told the waitress, “I want a fork!” and she told me, “Sure, everybody wants to f*ck.” I told her, “No, no you don’t understand me. I want a fork on the table.” She then told me, “So you son of a b*tch, you want to f*ck on the table? Get your a*s out of here.” So I went to the reception and asked for the bill. I didn’t want to stay in this hotel any more. When I paid the bill, the bellboy said to me: “Thank you and peace be with you.” I said, “Peace on you , too, you son of a b*tch! If I come back to Orlando, I will never come and stay in your hotel, you son of a b*tch.”
Sincerely,
Juan Torres Delano
# posted by HST Overdrive @ 11:53 AM 
