Thursday, March 16, 2006
zen and the wisdom of life
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
2. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
3. Sex is like air -- it's not important unless you aren't getting any.
4. No one is listening until you fart.
5. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
6. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away, and you
have their shoes.
7. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
8. Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
9. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was worth it.
10. Don't worry--It only seems kinky the first time.
11. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of bad experience comes from bad judgment.
12. There are two theories about arguing with women. Neither one works.
13. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
14. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
3. Sex is like air -- it's not important unless you aren't getting any.
4. No one is listening until you fart.
5. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
6. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away, and you
have their shoes.
7. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
8. Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
9. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was worth it.
10. Don't worry--It only seems kinky the first time.
11. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of bad experience comes from bad judgment.
12. There are two theories about arguing with women. Neither one works.
13. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
14. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
# posted by HST Overdrive @ 5:10 PM 
