Monday, October 31, 2005
bbq butt
A man and his wife were working in their garden one day and the man looks over at his wife and says: "Your butt is getting really big, I mean really big. I bet your butt is bigger than the barbecue." With that he proceeded to get a measuring tape and measure the grill and then went over to where his wife was working and measured his wife's bottom." Yes, I was right, your butt is two inches wider than the barbecue!!!"
The woman chose to ignore her husband. Later that night in bed, the husband is feeling a little frisky. He makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off. "What's wrong?" he asks.
She answers, "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie?"
The woman chose to ignore her husband. Later that night in bed, the husband is feeling a little frisky. He makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off. "What's wrong?" he asks.
She answers, "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie?"
Sunday, October 30, 2005
jello san francisco
Monday, October 24, 2005
failure at google
1- Go to www.google.com
2- Type in "Failure", without the quotes
3- Instead of hitting "Search" hit "I'm feeling Lucky"
4- Guess what site comes up...
5- Tell your friends before the people at Google Fix it.
2- Type in "Failure", without the quotes
3- Instead of hitting "Search" hit "I'm feeling Lucky"
4- Guess what site comes up...
5- Tell your friends before the people at Google Fix it.
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Ode to the Marina Girl
A friend of mine found this on Criagslist.com. Perfect!
----------------------------------------------
Poem: Ode to the Marina Girl (marina / cow hollow)
Reply to: anon-104123200@craigslist.org
Date: 2005-10-14, 11:21AM PDT
Designer sweats and Jamba Juice
Big black glasses, little white caboose
You can drink like a fish and snort fat lines
Perry's on Sunday has half priced wine!
You were always at Safeway strolling the aisles
Marina girls grew on me after a while
Tight black pants, and perky little tits
No more Haight chicks with hairy pits
With an LV bag and a little yappy mutt
For some drinks at the wine bar, you let me put it in your butt
We partied and screwed, we had a great time
I hope you enjoyed ingesting my slime
We had a good run, I'd recommend you to all
However, I'm moving on to a new girl this fall
You've made the most of your time on top
Alas, all good things must eventually stop
At twenty-three you owned this town
But at thirty-one I'm leaving you aground
But, if you run, you jog, you avoid the buffet
I'll see you in a few years at Balboa Cafe
----------------------------------------------
Poem: Ode to the Marina Girl (marina / cow hollow)
Reply to: anon-104123200@craigslist.org
Date: 2005-10-14, 11:21AM PDT
Designer sweats and Jamba Juice
Big black glasses, little white caboose
You can drink like a fish and snort fat lines
Perry's on Sunday has half priced wine!
You were always at Safeway strolling the aisles
Marina girls grew on me after a while
Tight black pants, and perky little tits
No more Haight chicks with hairy pits
With an LV bag and a little yappy mutt
For some drinks at the wine bar, you let me put it in your butt
We partied and screwed, we had a great time
I hope you enjoyed ingesting my slime
We had a good run, I'd recommend you to all
However, I'm moving on to a new girl this fall
You've made the most of your time on top
Alas, all good things must eventually stop
At twenty-three you owned this town
But at thirty-one I'm leaving you aground
But, if you run, you jog, you avoid the buffet
I'll see you in a few years at Balboa Cafe
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
a new orleans photo the press neglected
Monday, October 17, 2005
bush administration piggy bank
Thursday, October 13, 2005
a heart warming preview for the Shining
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
football finally makes sense..........
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.
"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like...Helloooooo?
It's only 25 cents!!!!
"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like...Helloooooo?
It's only 25 cents!!!!
Monday, October 10, 2005
women's rights?
Friday, October 07, 2005
holy casino!
This may come as a surprise to those of you not living in Las Vegas but there are more Catholic churches than casinos.
Not surprisingly, some worshippers at Sunday services will give casino chips rather than cash when the basket is passed.
Since they get chips from so many different casinos, the churches have devised a method to collect the offerings.The churches send all their collected chips to a nearby Franciscan Monastery for sorting and then the chips are taken to the casinos of origin and cashed in.
This is done by a chip monk.
Not surprisingly, some worshippers at Sunday services will give casino chips rather than cash when the basket is passed.
Since they get chips from so many different casinos, the churches have devised a method to collect the offerings.The churches send all their collected chips to a nearby Franciscan Monastery for sorting and then the chips are taken to the casinos of origin and cashed in.
This is done by a chip monk.
Thursday, October 06, 2005
anti-hoff
Is the internet getting to be too much of a 'hassel'? Then you need 'anti-hoff'.
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
wonder woman ages well
