Monday, January 31, 2005
Daily Weird News
"The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do."
Walter Bagehot (1826 - 1877)
Dragon ladies on alert! You should be aware of a recent Dutch study that found that smoking is significantly harder on women's bodies than men's. Apparently, women who ides of lung cancer did so 11 years early, versus men who died 3 years early.
Boo-hoo! Kerry blames the Bin Laden tape, which was boradcast days before the November election, for his loss to Dubbya. Yeah, right!!!
This stripper wins damages against the tiger that attacked her. More to the point, the owners of the Ontario safari park will pay the lady because she can no longer work in her revealing field. Her boyfriend, an accordian player, won even more because he can no longer play his instrument.
A new, toothy image for police in the Phillippines...
American Nazis in Oregon adopt a highway. Lovely. I'm sure it will be cleaned with machine like regularity.
Here's an interesting stroy about the cursed Pearl of Allah.
This Chicago food warehouse was dubbed an 'amusement park for rats'. Yikes!
This fish sure did not go without a struggle.
Walter Bagehot (1826 - 1877)
Dragon ladies on alert! You should be aware of a recent Dutch study that found that smoking is significantly harder on women's bodies than men's. Apparently, women who ides of lung cancer did so 11 years early, versus men who died 3 years early.
Boo-hoo! Kerry blames the Bin Laden tape, which was boradcast days before the November election, for his loss to Dubbya. Yeah, right!!!
This stripper wins damages against the tiger that attacked her. More to the point, the owners of the Ontario safari park will pay the lady because she can no longer work in her revealing field. Her boyfriend, an accordian player, won even more because he can no longer play his instrument.
A new, toothy image for police in the Phillippines...
American Nazis in Oregon adopt a highway. Lovely. I'm sure it will be cleaned with machine like regularity.
Here's an interesting stroy about the cursed Pearl of Allah.
This Chicago food warehouse was dubbed an 'amusement park for rats'. Yikes!
This fish sure did not go without a struggle.
Perfect for 'a case of the Mondays'...
Movie Reviews
This is about the worst bunch of movie reviews that I've ever seen on Rotten Tomatoes. Do not go see this movie, even if you do like the actors.
Always travel prepared!!!!
Friday, January 28, 2005
And i thought it was dangerous to hike in BC with bears around... try lions!
Thursday, January 27, 2005
Inaugeration Video
Here's an interesting video of the inaugeration motorcade. No eggs were thrown at Dubbya's limmo this time, but you know people wanted to!
But can you see the F*** Bush signs? It's all over the place, and CNN showed it! Too funny. But on a more somber note, it's so sad that this is the state of American politics.
But can you see the F*** Bush signs? It's all over the place, and CNN showed it! Too funny. But on a more somber note, it's so sad that this is the state of American politics.
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
Jurassic Toy Fart
Wise words from H.L. Mencken
"When a candidate for public office faces the voters he does not face men of sense; he faces a mob of men whose chief distinguishing mark is that they are quite incapable of weighing ideas, or even of comprehending any save the most elemental -- men whose whole thinking is done in terms of emotion, and whose dominant emotion is dread of what they cannot understand. So confronted, the candidate must either bark with the pack, or count himself lost. His one aim is to disarm suspicion, to arouse confidence in his orthodoxy, to avoid challenge. If he is a man of convictions, of enthusiasm, or self-respect, it is cruelly hard... The larger the mob, the harder the test. In small areas, before small electorates, a first rate man occasionally fights his way through, carrying even a mob with him by the force of his personality.
But when the field is nationwide, and the fight must be waged chiefly at second or third hand, and the force of personality cannot so readily make itself felt, then all the odds are on the man who is, intrinsically, the most devious and mediocre -- the man who can most adeptly disperse the notion that his mind is a virtual vacuum. The Presidency tends, year by year, to go to such men. As democracy is perfected, the office represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. We move toward a lofty ideal. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their hearts' desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron."
--H.L. Mencken, The Baltimore Evening Sun, July 26, 1920
-- This was sent ot my by Erik. Good eye, man!
But when the field is nationwide, and the fight must be waged chiefly at second or third hand, and the force of personality cannot so readily make itself felt, then all the odds are on the man who is, intrinsically, the most devious and mediocre -- the man who can most adeptly disperse the notion that his mind is a virtual vacuum. The Presidency tends, year by year, to go to such men. As democracy is perfected, the office represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. We move toward a lofty ideal. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their hearts' desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron."
--H.L. Mencken, The Baltimore Evening Sun, July 26, 1920
-- This was sent ot my by Erik. Good eye, man!
The satanic homosexual evil that lurks in Sponge Bob's Square Pants
Man oh man, will these people never stop? James Dobson, the founder of 'Focus on the Family' Christian group, has announced that he believes Sponge Bob Square Pants to actually be gay.
How anyone can mistake an ambi-sexual sponge creature for gay or straight is beyond me. First it was Fallwell proclaiming that the TeleTubby (which is even more a-sexual that Sponge Bob) was a gay character. His proof? Tinky Winky carried a little purple purse, that bastard!!! Satan, get the behind me!! Can I get a 'Hallelujah' brothers?
Seriously though, how could these kind of paranoid, intolerant, narrow minded people seriously claim to represent the interests of Jesus Christ? Once again, they fail to ask themselves that great question 'What would Jesus do?'. As far as I remember for reading the bible, Christ never condemned anyone, least of all homosexuals.
I mean you really have to wonder what these 'Christians' are really railing against? They never bothered with sponge Bob until he was starting to be used to preach tolerance to school children. So what's the REAL issue here?
Here's a CNN artcile about this issue. And also a good BBC article about this stuff. As welll, a view from 365gay.com. And here's a cute spoof, claiming to get Sponge Bob's response.
I looked but could not find many words from Christian sites other than Dobson's, so click here for that. It's interesting to see that in this artcile, he denies calling Sponge Bob a homo. Of course, now he's the victim...
Here is an SFgate.com article writing about this annoucement and the people behind it. It's a bit long and he reaches, but he does point out some current scary trends in US politics.
How anyone can mistake an ambi-sexual sponge creature for gay or straight is beyond me. First it was Fallwell proclaiming that the TeleTubby (which is even more a-sexual that Sponge Bob) was a gay character. His proof? Tinky Winky carried a little purple purse, that bastard!!! Satan, get the behind me!! Can I get a 'Hallelujah' brothers?
Seriously though, how could these kind of paranoid, intolerant, narrow minded people seriously claim to represent the interests of Jesus Christ? Once again, they fail to ask themselves that great question 'What would Jesus do?'. As far as I remember for reading the bible, Christ never condemned anyone, least of all homosexuals.
I mean you really have to wonder what these 'Christians' are really railing against? They never bothered with sponge Bob until he was starting to be used to preach tolerance to school children. So what's the REAL issue here?
Here's a CNN artcile about this issue. And also a good BBC article about this stuff. As welll, a view from 365gay.com. And here's a cute spoof, claiming to get Sponge Bob's response.
I looked but could not find many words from Christian sites other than Dobson's, so click here for that. It's interesting to see that in this artcile, he denies calling Sponge Bob a homo. Of course, now he's the victim...
Here is an SFgate.com article writing about this annoucement and the people behind it. It's a bit long and he reaches, but he does point out some current scary trends in US politics.
Daily Weird News
It's interesting that chimps have a sense of fair-play. I've always wondered where this notion comes from and how children deelop it. Do they get it from socialization or is it something inherent in them? This study seems to point to the idea that it may be something more primal than mere socialization.
A hot hot, sizzling hot Firehouse? These four firefighters got suspended fdor having sex on duty. Three male firefighters were caught having sex with one femals firefighter. They did a pretty good job until firefighters attended a local porn-star costume ball last July...
This Brit was told by eBay to remove his auction for his demilitarized Soviet missile and missile launcher. What? You can't sell missiles on eBay?
The continuation of the smoking, firearm and fast food corporation lawsuits has gone more step further. This guy is suing the MGM grand for preying on his gambling addiction.
According to the Onion, children are still traumatized by Janet Jackson's breast.
A hot hot, sizzling hot Firehouse? These four firefighters got suspended fdor having sex on duty. Three male firefighters were caught having sex with one femals firefighter. They did a pretty good job until firefighters attended a local porn-star costume ball last July...
This Brit was told by eBay to remove his auction for his demilitarized Soviet missile and missile launcher. What? You can't sell missiles on eBay?
The continuation of the smoking, firearm and fast food corporation lawsuits has gone more step further. This guy is suing the MGM grand for preying on his gambling addiction.
According to the Onion, children are still traumatized by Janet Jackson's breast.
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
Leia's Metal Bikini
Here's something for all you male Star Wars fans. It's a site specially dedicated to the cosutme that Kerry Fisher wore (what little of it there was) as Jabba's love slave in Return of the Jedi.
Yes, it's that hot metal bikini!! It's especially worthwhile to check out the fan picture submissions.
Yes, it's that hot metal bikini!! It's especially worthwhile to check out the fan picture submissions.
Cat Boxing
Yes, this is exactly what you think it is, a site dedicated to people's animals when they get into a fight. Some of the good ones are cats fighting dogs.
Don't worry, there's nothing sinister here, just co-habiting animals scrapping in their normal everyday lives.
Click here.
Don't worry, there's nothing sinister here, just co-habiting animals scrapping in their normal everyday lives.
Click here.
Daily Weird News
Avast ye scurvey wenches of Washington state! Prepare to be insulted! This Seattle Democrat, a female State Senator, is asking that a Washington law that prohibits anyone from insluting women to be repealed on the grounds that it is discriminatory. It's entertaining that this only applies to women of good virtue and that you can call a prostitute or a woman of ill-repute anything you like.
Will Richard Hatch, of the very first 'Survivor' fame, survive an arraignment from the IRS? Turns out that he has not been keeping up with his taxes. He never filed his $1 million prize money. You'd think he'd be smarter than that.
Naked cops getting their man, errr, woman? Huston cops have historically been banned from shedding clothes during investigations (how could you tell their rank if they were naked?) but the unwritten rule has changed. And now that the cops will underess, they are bringing in all kinds of people on vice charges.
Botched circumcisions? Yikes! I'd want some court protection too, especially from some practitioner that is not trained or licensed and possibly inebriated. This has become such a problem in South Africa that they are setting special courts to prosecute faulty practitioners.
Will Richard Hatch, of the very first 'Survivor' fame, survive an arraignment from the IRS? Turns out that he has not been keeping up with his taxes. He never filed his $1 million prize money. You'd think he'd be smarter than that.
Naked cops getting their man, errr, woman? Huston cops have historically been banned from shedding clothes during investigations (how could you tell their rank if they were naked?) but the unwritten rule has changed. And now that the cops will underess, they are bringing in all kinds of people on vice charges.
Botched circumcisions? Yikes! I'd want some court protection too, especially from some practitioner that is not trained or licensed and possibly inebriated. This has become such a problem in South Africa that they are setting special courts to prosecute faulty practitioners.
Cold Snap Victim
Monday, January 24, 2005
Amish Porn
Pssssst... hey you! Wanna see some Amish Porn?
(Not to ruin the surprise, but this is very acceptable to open at work. It's a spoof site.)
(Not to ruin the surprise, but this is very acceptable to open at work. It's a spoof site.)
Careful what you blog, Bloggers!
Here's an interesting article on SF Gate today about peole getting fired for what they post on their blogs. Be advised bloggers, the Man is watching you!
Daily Weird News
No more homework, no more books, no more teacher's dirty looks... This Wisconsin honor student is suing the schoolboard to get rid of summer homework.
Text messaging bad for your health? This Italian doctor says so. Warn your children!
This suicidal French spelunker was saved by a teacher's strike (of all things) after he got lost in a labirynthine mushroom cave.
That British jerk who send bogus advice of death emails to people searching for their loved ones after the Tsunami got 6 months of hard time. This guy thought he was actually doing these people a favor.
What a way to go. Three men in South Africa are now on trial for throwing one of thier farm workers to the lions. The worker was bound and did not survive the maulings of the hungry beasts.
Text messaging bad for your health? This Italian doctor says so. Warn your children!
This suicidal French spelunker was saved by a teacher's strike (of all things) after he got lost in a labirynthine mushroom cave.
That British jerk who send bogus advice of death emails to people searching for their loved ones after the Tsunami got 6 months of hard time. This guy thought he was actually doing these people a favor.
What a way to go. Three men in South Africa are now on trial for throwing one of thier farm workers to the lions. The worker was bound and did not survive the maulings of the hungry beasts.
Letter from Cali
Dear President Bush:
Congratulations on your victory over all us non-evangelicals.
Actually, we're a bit ticked off here in California, so we're leaving.
California will now be its own country. And we're taking all the Blue States with us. In case you are not aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois, and all of the North East.
We spoke to God, and She agrees that this split will be beneficial to almost everybody, and especially to us in the new country of California.
In fact, God is so excited about it, She's going to shift the whole country at 4:30 pm EST this Friday. Therefore, please let everyone know they need to be back in their states by then.
So you get Texas and all the former slave states. We get the Governator, stem cell research and the best beaches. We get Elliot Spitzler. You get Ken Lay. (Okay, we have to keep Martha Stewart, we can live with that.) We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Old Miss.' We get 85% of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get all the technological innovation in Alabama. We get about two-thirds of the tax revenue, and you get to make the red states pay their fair share. Since our divorce rate is 22% lower than the Christian coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms to support, and we know how much you like that.
Did I mention we produce about 70% of the nation's veggies?
But heck the only greens the Bible-thumpers eat are the pickles on their Big Macs. Oh yeah, another thing, don't plan on serving California wine at your state dinners. From now on it's imported French wine for you. Ouch, bet that hurts.
Just so we're clear, the country of California will be pro-choice and anti-war. Speaking of war, we're going to want all Blue States citizens back from Iraq. If you need people to fight, just ask your evangelicals. They have tons of kids they're willing to send to their deaths for absolutely no purpose. And they don't care if you don't show pictures of their kids' caskets coming home.
Anyway, we wish you all the best in the next four years and we hope, really hope, you find those missing weapons of mass destruction. Seriously. Soon.
Congratulations on your victory over all us non-evangelicals.
Actually, we're a bit ticked off here in California, so we're leaving.
California will now be its own country. And we're taking all the Blue States with us. In case you are not aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois, and all of the North East.
We spoke to God, and She agrees that this split will be beneficial to almost everybody, and especially to us in the new country of California.
In fact, God is so excited about it, She's going to shift the whole country at 4:30 pm EST this Friday. Therefore, please let everyone know they need to be back in their states by then.
So you get Texas and all the former slave states. We get the Governator, stem cell research and the best beaches. We get Elliot Spitzler. You get Ken Lay. (Okay, we have to keep Martha Stewart, we can live with that.) We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Old Miss.' We get 85% of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get all the technological innovation in Alabama. We get about two-thirds of the tax revenue, and you get to make the red states pay their fair share. Since our divorce rate is 22% lower than the Christian coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms to support, and we know how much you like that.
Did I mention we produce about 70% of the nation's veggies?
But heck the only greens the Bible-thumpers eat are the pickles on their Big Macs. Oh yeah, another thing, don't plan on serving California wine at your state dinners. From now on it's imported French wine for you. Ouch, bet that hurts.
Just so we're clear, the country of California will be pro-choice and anti-war. Speaking of war, we're going to want all Blue States citizens back from Iraq. If you need people to fight, just ask your evangelicals. They have tons of kids they're willing to send to their deaths for absolutely no purpose. And they don't care if you don't show pictures of their kids' caskets coming home.
Anyway, we wish you all the best in the next four years and we hope, really hope, you find those missing weapons of mass destruction. Seriously. Soon.
Saturday, January 22, 2005
Geek Communication
This is an email from my 'boss' to tell the crew what the plan is for working this Saturday. It's smart, but kind of geeky-pathetic at the same time. If you can read Java code, it makes this easier, but if not just read the words and it will start to make some sense...
=============================
Hi all,
Here is your assignment for tomorrow, should you choose to accept
it:
public Status workSaturday(boolean hasOtherPlansThatAreAcceptableToSteve) {
if (hasOtherPlansThatAreAcceptableToSteve)
return null;
// Must Fix bugs are P1s and P2s...
List mustFixBugsList = getMustFixBugs();
for (int i = 0; i < mustFixBugsList.size(); i++) {
// P1s and P2s are called "Must Fix" for a reason :)
Bug bug = (Bug)mustFixBugsList.get(i);
bug.fix();
bug.test();
bug.doubleCheck();
bug.checkIn();
bug.markOffAppropriateBugzilla();
}
verifyBugs();
Status status = writeStatus();
return status;
}
=============================
Hi all,
Here is your assignment for tomorrow, should you choose to accept
it:
public Status workSaturday(boolean hasOtherPlansThatAreAcceptableToSteve) {
if (hasOtherPlansThatAreAcceptableToSteve)
return null;
// Must Fix bugs are P1s and P2s...
List mustFixBugsList = getMustFixBugs();
for (int i = 0; i < mustFixBugsList.size(); i++) {
// P1s and P2s are called "Must Fix" for a reason :)
Bug bug = (Bug)mustFixBugsList.get(i);
bug.fix();
bug.test();
bug.doubleCheck();
bug.checkIn();
bug.markOffAppropriateBugzilla();
}
verifyBugs();
Status status = writeStatus();
return status;
}
Friday, January 21, 2005
Bunny Suicides
This is kind of cute for those of you with dark senses of humor.
Click here
I do whatever my Rice Krispies tell me to...
Click here
I do whatever my Rice Krispies tell me to...
Daily Weird News
Bush's favorite hand salute, the heavy meatal fan's favorite two fingers up (index and pink fingers), does not seem to translate well in Europe. Turns out in Norway, it means a salute to Satan and in Italy it means he's a cucklod.
We all knew that those dreaded words '4 more years' meant more of the same. But Dick Cheny and Ken Mehlman are serious about it. Karl Rove's 'energize the base' is going to be a constant component to American politics.
The 'Hanshake-Man' almost got to President Bush during the 2005 inaugeration. Too bad the police caught him in time.
Taking his disappointment to the grave, this NHL fan blasts the league (players and owners) from his obituatry. I would too if I could not watch the game in my last year of life... Oh, and there's still no light at the end of the tunnel for those of us on this mortal coil.
You gotta feel for this guy. He knew that sex would sell and turned his back on it to sell bibles. Too bad nobody ever told his that there's no money in working for the lord, unless your a TV evangelist or the Catholic Church.
Ahh, the penis-pump-judge of Oaklahoma finally got charged for using his beloved divice in court.
We all knew that those dreaded words '4 more years' meant more of the same. But Dick Cheny and Ken Mehlman are serious about it. Karl Rove's 'energize the base' is going to be a constant component to American politics.
The 'Hanshake-Man' almost got to President Bush during the 2005 inaugeration. Too bad the police caught him in time.
Taking his disappointment to the grave, this NHL fan blasts the league (players and owners) from his obituatry. I would too if I could not watch the game in my last year of life... Oh, and there's still no light at the end of the tunnel for those of us on this mortal coil.
You gotta feel for this guy. He knew that sex would sell and turned his back on it to sell bibles. Too bad nobody ever told his that there's no money in working for the lord, unless your a TV evangelist or the Catholic Church.
Ahh, the penis-pump-judge of Oaklahoma finally got charged for using his beloved divice in court.
TRANSLATIONS OF WOMEN'S FAVORITE WORDS
FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
FIVE MINUTES
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
NOTHING
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine"
GO AHEAD
This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.
LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"
THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome.
Alert the men you know to warn them about future arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology!
And send it to your women friends to give them a good laugh!
P.S.: They forgot "Whatever"...(it's a woman's way of saying *!#@ YOU!)
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
FIVE MINUTES
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
NOTHING
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine"
GO AHEAD
This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.
LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"
THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome.
Alert the men you know to warn them about future arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology!
And send it to your women friends to give them a good laugh!
P.S.: They forgot "Whatever"...(it's a woman's way of saying *!#@ YOU!)
Thursday, January 20, 2005
HOW TO ARGUE EFFECTIVELY
Author Unknown
I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me. You too can win arguments. Simply follow these rules:
1. Drink liquor.
Suppose you are at a party and some hotshot intellectual is expounding on the economy of Peru, a subject you know nothing about. If you're drinking some health-fanatic drink like grapefruit juice, you'll hang back, afraid to display your ignorance, while the hotshot enthralls your date. But if you drink several large martinis, you'll discover you have STRONG VIEWS about the Peruvian economy. You'll be a WEALTH of information. You'll argue forcefully, offering searing insights and possibly upsetting furniture. People will be impressed. Some may leave the room.
2. Make things up.
Suppose, in the Peruvian economy argument, you are trying to prove that Peruvians are underpaid, a position you base solely on the fact that YOU are underpaid, and you'll be damned if you're going to let a bunch of Peruvians be better off. DON'T say: "I think Peruvians are underpaid." Say instead: "The average Peruvian's salary in 1981 dollars adjusted for the revised tax base is $1,452.81 per annum, which is $836.07 before the mean gross poverty level."
Note: Always make up exact figures.
If an opponent asks you where you got your information, make THAT up too. Say: "This information comes from Dr. Hovel T. Moon's study for the Buford Commission published on May 9, 1982. Didn't you read it?" Say this in the same tone of voice you would use to say, "You left your soiled underwear in my bathroom."
3. Use meaningless but weighty-sounding words and phrases.
Memorize this list:
* Let me put it this way
* In terms of
* Vis-a-vis
* Per se
* As it were
* Qua
* So to speak
You should also memorize some Latin abbreviations such as "Q.E.D.", "e.g.", and "i.e." These are all short for "I speak Latin, and you don't."
Here's how to use these words and phrases. Suppose you want to say, "Peruvians would like to order appetizers more often, but they don't have enough money." You never win arguments talking like that. But you WILL win if you say, "Let me put it this way. In terms of appetizers vis-a-vis Peruvians qua Peruvians, they would like to order them more often, so to speak, but they do not have enough money per se, as it were. Q.E.D."
Only a fool would challenge that statement.
4. Use snappy and irrelevant comebacks.
You need an arsenal of all-purpose irrelevant phrases to fire back at your opponents when they make valid points. The best are:
* You're begging the question.
* You're being defensive.
* Don't compare apples to oranges.
* What are your parameters?
This last one is especially valuable. Nobody (other than engineers and policy wonks) has the vaguest idea what "parameters" means.
Don't forget the classic: YOU'RE SO LINEAR.
Here's how to use your comebacks:
You say: As Abraham Lincoln said in 1873...
Your opponent says: Lincoln died in 1865.
You say: You're begging the question.
- or -
You say: Liberians, like most Asians...
Your opponent says: Liberia is in Africa.
You say: You're being defensive.
5. Compare your opponent to Adolf Hitler.
This is your heavy artillery, for when your opponent is obviously right and you are spectacularly wrong. Bring Hitler up subtly. Say, "That sounds suspiciously like something Adolf Hitler might say," or "You certainly do remind me of Adolf Hitler."
So that's it. You now know how to out-argue anybody. Do not try to pull any of this on people who generally carry weapons.
I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me. You too can win arguments. Simply follow these rules:
1. Drink liquor.
Suppose you are at a party and some hotshot intellectual is expounding on the economy of Peru, a subject you know nothing about. If you're drinking some health-fanatic drink like grapefruit juice, you'll hang back, afraid to display your ignorance, while the hotshot enthralls your date. But if you drink several large martinis, you'll discover you have STRONG VIEWS about the Peruvian economy. You'll be a WEALTH of information. You'll argue forcefully, offering searing insights and possibly upsetting furniture. People will be impressed. Some may leave the room.
2. Make things up.
Suppose, in the Peruvian economy argument, you are trying to prove that Peruvians are underpaid, a position you base solely on the fact that YOU are underpaid, and you'll be damned if you're going to let a bunch of Peruvians be better off. DON'T say: "I think Peruvians are underpaid." Say instead: "The average Peruvian's salary in 1981 dollars adjusted for the revised tax base is $1,452.81 per annum, which is $836.07 before the mean gross poverty level."
Note: Always make up exact figures.
If an opponent asks you where you got your information, make THAT up too. Say: "This information comes from Dr. Hovel T. Moon's study for the Buford Commission published on May 9, 1982. Didn't you read it?" Say this in the same tone of voice you would use to say, "You left your soiled underwear in my bathroom."
3. Use meaningless but weighty-sounding words and phrases.
Memorize this list:
* Let me put it this way
* In terms of
* Vis-a-vis
* Per se
* As it were
* Qua
* So to speak
You should also memorize some Latin abbreviations such as "Q.E.D.", "e.g.", and "i.e." These are all short for "I speak Latin, and you don't."
Here's how to use these words and phrases. Suppose you want to say, "Peruvians would like to order appetizers more often, but they don't have enough money." You never win arguments talking like that. But you WILL win if you say, "Let me put it this way. In terms of appetizers vis-a-vis Peruvians qua Peruvians, they would like to order them more often, so to speak, but they do not have enough money per se, as it were. Q.E.D."
Only a fool would challenge that statement.
4. Use snappy and irrelevant comebacks.
You need an arsenal of all-purpose irrelevant phrases to fire back at your opponents when they make valid points. The best are:
* You're begging the question.
* You're being defensive.
* Don't compare apples to oranges.
* What are your parameters?
This last one is especially valuable. Nobody (other than engineers and policy wonks) has the vaguest idea what "parameters" means.
Don't forget the classic: YOU'RE SO LINEAR.
Here's how to use your comebacks:
You say: As Abraham Lincoln said in 1873...
Your opponent says: Lincoln died in 1865.
You say: You're begging the question.
- or -
You say: Liberians, like most Asians...
Your opponent says: Liberia is in Africa.
You say: You're being defensive.
5. Compare your opponent to Adolf Hitler.
This is your heavy artillery, for when your opponent is obviously right and you are spectacularly wrong. Bring Hitler up subtly. Say, "That sounds suspiciously like something Adolf Hitler might say," or "You certainly do remind me of Adolf Hitler."
So that's it. You now know how to out-argue anybody. Do not try to pull any of this on people who generally carry weapons.
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
New Jib-Jab Movie: Second Term
This is kind of cute. Still not as good as their first one "This Land will surely Vote for Me!" but it's worth a watch.
Click here.
Click here.
Daily Weird News
Well, I'm still sick at home, but the beauty of programming is you can be very effective offsite. So for at least one more day I can spend what little physical reasoruces I have working from home and posting things to my blog.
Virus Alert!!! Do not open the file 'tsunami.exe'. It is a mass mailing worm that will do awful thigns to your system and the network you are on. What kid of sick, sad bastard preys on such a disaster?
You can see how the rest of the world is just wild about welcoming GW Bush back into office. He may have been a uniter in Texas, but he sure was not on the world stage.
You know, I saw a TV show last night where some Americans were abroad and could not understand why people around the world hate the US. One of the characters then said, "Well if you took the time to get to know us, you might not hate us." Interesting. And how much does the average Ameican Citizen know about the rest of the world? When I was a kid in Canada, I still remember American kids coming up for summer camp and wondering where all igloos went...
A British 'Abu Ghraib'. These are dome pretty awful pictures of prisoner abuse. Looks like the US soldiers are not the only ones abusing prisoners.
It's nice to see that talks with the NHLPA and the owners have begun again. Will it be more of the same? Probably.
Here's an interesting new use for WD-40, that old stand-by lubricant of every man, almost as useful as duct tape.
Virus Alert!!! Do not open the file 'tsunami.exe'. It is a mass mailing worm that will do awful thigns to your system and the network you are on. What kid of sick, sad bastard preys on such a disaster?
You can see how the rest of the world is just wild about welcoming GW Bush back into office. He may have been a uniter in Texas, but he sure was not on the world stage.
You know, I saw a TV show last night where some Americans were abroad and could not understand why people around the world hate the US. One of the characters then said, "Well if you took the time to get to know us, you might not hate us." Interesting. And how much does the average Ameican Citizen know about the rest of the world? When I was a kid in Canada, I still remember American kids coming up for summer camp and wondering where all igloos went...
A British 'Abu Ghraib'. These are dome pretty awful pictures of prisoner abuse. Looks like the US soldiers are not the only ones abusing prisoners.
It's nice to see that talks with the NHLPA and the owners have begun again. Will it be more of the same? Probably.
Here's an interesting new use for WD-40, that old stand-by lubricant of every man, almost as useful as duct tape.
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
Daily Weird News
"You see things vacationing on a motorcycle in a way that is completely different from any other. In a car you're always in a compartment, and because you're used to it you don't realize that through that car window everything you see is just more TV. You're a passive observer and it is all moving by you boringly in a frame.
On a cycle the frame is gone. You're completely in contact with it all. You're in the scene, not just watching it anymore, and the sense of presence is overwhelming. That concrete whizzing by five inches below your foot is the real thing, the same stuff you walk on, it's right there, so blurred you can't focus on it, yet you can put your foot down and touch it anytime, and the whole thing, the whole experience, is never removed from immediate consciousness."
- Robert M. Pirsig
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
This is an interesting analysis of what the world will look like 15 years down the road from the National Intelligence Council. There's nothing surprising there, but I found it insteresting that they did not mention Europe at all.
Talks between the NHLPA and the owners are starting again. Let's hope they are the beginning of something beautiful; like hockey being played again at a professional level in North America.
Here's one for the Scooby Doo crew. Apparently this Polish woman was haunting her husband's employer in his Austirian castle because of some unknown grudge. Instead of "meddling kids", there was some meddling police and she got 4 months in the big house.
The new Pope-mobile?
Talk about a pain in the... head. This guy had a nail embedded in his skull for 6 days before someone noticed it... But he's not all that lucky. He had no medical insurance and his bill will be somewhere around $100k.
Talk about another 'black-eye' for hockey. An enraged parent chocked his son's coach since the parent decided his little tike was not getting enough ice time.
On a cycle the frame is gone. You're completely in contact with it all. You're in the scene, not just watching it anymore, and the sense of presence is overwhelming. That concrete whizzing by five inches below your foot is the real thing, the same stuff you walk on, it's right there, so blurred you can't focus on it, yet you can put your foot down and touch it anytime, and the whole thing, the whole experience, is never removed from immediate consciousness."
- Robert M. Pirsig
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
This is an interesting analysis of what the world will look like 15 years down the road from the National Intelligence Council. There's nothing surprising there, but I found it insteresting that they did not mention Europe at all.
Talks between the NHLPA and the owners are starting again. Let's hope they are the beginning of something beautiful; like hockey being played again at a professional level in North America.
Here's one for the Scooby Doo crew. Apparently this Polish woman was haunting her husband's employer in his Austirian castle because of some unknown grudge. Instead of "meddling kids", there was some meddling police and she got 4 months in the big house.
The new Pope-mobile?
Talk about a pain in the... head. This guy had a nail embedded in his skull for 6 days before someone noticed it... But he's not all that lucky. He had no medical insurance and his bill will be somewhere around $100k.
Talk about another 'black-eye' for hockey. An enraged parent chocked his son's coach since the parent decided his little tike was not getting enough ice time.
Monday, January 17, 2005
Sick as a Dog
Hey my reading public, sorry for not posting but I've been sick as a dog for the last few days. I'llbe posting again soon, once I am feeling better.
Thursday, January 13, 2005
Confessional?
A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth, sits down but says nothing.
The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the drunk just sits there. Finnaly, the Priest pounds three times on the wall.
The drunk mumbles, "ain't no use knockin, there's no paper on this side either...
The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the drunk just sits there. Finnaly, the Priest pounds three times on the wall.
The drunk mumbles, "ain't no use knockin, there's no paper on this side either...
Wal-Mart Wines
WAL-MART announced this morning that they will soon be WalMart will be offering customers a new discount item: Wal-Mart's own brand of wine. The world's largest retail chain is teaming up with E&J Gallo Winery of California, to produce the spirits at an affordable price, in the $2-5 range. Wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to throw a bottle of Wal-Mart brand into their shopping carts, but "there is a market for cheap wine", said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing. She said: "But the right name is important." Customer surveys were conducted to determine the most attractive name for the Wal-Mart brand. The top surveyed names in order of popularity are:
10. Chateau Traileur Parc
9. White Trashfindel
8. Big Red Gulp
7. World Championship Riesling
6. NASCARbernet
5. Chef Boyardeaux
4. Peanut Noir
3. I Can't Believe It's Not Vinegar!
2. Grape Expectations
And the number 1 name for Wal-Mart Wine:
1. Nasti Spumante
The beauty of Wal-Mart wine is that it can be served with either white meat (Possum) or red meat (Squirrel).
AND
A California vintner in the Napa Valley area that produces Pinot Blanc and Pinot Grigio wines has developed a new hybrid grape that acts as an antidiuretic and promises to reduce the number of trips an older person has to make to the bathroom during the night. They will be marketing the new wine as "Pinot More".
10. Chateau Traileur Parc
9. White Trashfindel
8. Big Red Gulp
7. World Championship Riesling
6. NASCARbernet
5. Chef Boyardeaux
4. Peanut Noir
3. I Can't Believe It's Not Vinegar!
2. Grape Expectations
And the number 1 name for Wal-Mart Wine:
1. Nasti Spumante
The beauty of Wal-Mart wine is that it can be served with either white meat (Possum) or red meat (Squirrel).
AND
A California vintner in the Napa Valley area that produces Pinot Blanc and Pinot Grigio wines has developed a new hybrid grape that acts as an antidiuretic and promises to reduce the number of trips an older person has to make to the bathroom during the night. They will be marketing the new wine as "Pinot More".
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
Joke: Domestic Issues
There was an attorney who got home late one evening after a very taxing day trying to get a stay of execution for a client, named Jack Wright, who was due to be hanged for murder at midnight. His last minute plea for clemency to the state governor had failed and he was feeling tired and depressed.
As soon as he got through the door his wife started with, "What time of night do you call this? Where the hell have you been?" and so on.
Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual, he went and poured
himself a very large whisky and headed off to the bathroom for a long hot soak --
pursued by the predictable sarcastic remarks.
While he was in the bath the phone rang, which the wife answered to be told that her husband's client had been granted his stay of execution after all. Realizing what a day he must have had, she relented and went upstairs to give him the good news. As she opened the bathroom door she was greeted by the sight of her husband's rear view as he bent naked over the bath pickin up his rubber duckie.
"They're not hanging Wright tonight," she said, at which he whirled round and screamed hysterically, "For crying out loud . . . don't you ever stop critisizing?"
As soon as he got through the door his wife started with, "What time of night do you call this? Where the hell have you been?" and so on.
Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual, he went and poured
himself a very large whisky and headed off to the bathroom for a long hot soak --
pursued by the predictable sarcastic remarks.
While he was in the bath the phone rang, which the wife answered to be told that her husband's client had been granted his stay of execution after all. Realizing what a day he must have had, she relented and went upstairs to give him the good news. As she opened the bathroom door she was greeted by the sight of her husband's rear view as he bent naked over the bath pickin up his rubber duckie.
"They're not hanging Wright tonight," she said, at which he whirled round and screamed hysterically, "For crying out loud . . . don't you ever stop critisizing?"
Good opportunity to start Running!
I have a freind who took part in this program and found a new lease on life. If you've ever thought about running a marathon, this is supposed to be a great program to get you there.
It'll be starting up in Jaunuary on the 15th and 22nd in San Francisco donw in the Marina district. If I wasn't sailing and skiing, I'd probably join.
Here are links to the flyers:
It'll be starting up in Jaunuary on the 15th and 22nd in San Francisco donw in the Marina district. If I wasn't sailing and skiing, I'd probably join.
Here are links to the flyers:
Santa has a run in with the Cops
Daily Weird News
Ahh, just what I like to hear: I've got to sleep more to stay thin and be healthy. This new study supports those long afternoon naps... or does it?
Conservatives lose out to the porn industry in the UK? In this story a conservative political party lost its website domain name to some hard-core pornographers. So the site goes from conservative advice to selling anal-sex DVDs...
Here's a little spat that is going on between George Clooney and Bill O'Reilly over a Tsunami aid telethon. Will O'Reilly put his money where his mouth is? Clooney wants to know.
The Bush Fear Machine is kicking back into gear, and this time the target is not Saddam's Iraq but Socail Securtity. The looming fight has Karl Rove working overtime on getting the carrot and sticks ready to entice reluctant members of congress (even those of his own party) to act.
Conservatives lose out to the porn industry in the UK? In this story a conservative political party lost its website domain name to some hard-core pornographers. So the site goes from conservative advice to selling anal-sex DVDs...
Here's a little spat that is going on between George Clooney and Bill O'Reilly over a Tsunami aid telethon. Will O'Reilly put his money where his mouth is? Clooney wants to know.
The Bush Fear Machine is kicking back into gear, and this time the target is not Saddam's Iraq but Socail Securtity. The looming fight has Karl Rove working overtime on getting the carrot and sticks ready to entice reluctant members of congress (even those of his own party) to act.
Monday, January 10, 2005
Daily Werid News
Now Beavis and Butthead have their own lake! What's next? Riots in the streets, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria?
This guy sent over $150k US on Hockey Cards. The problem is the poassionate collector was the director of the Measurement Board of Canada and use the government card to pay for it all. Woops!
The 'Salvador Option' is an awfully chilling one. The US is mulling over taking up the old strategy of training hit squads, just like they did in El Salvador, to roam around Iraq killing insurgent leaders. It had disasteropus effects on the population in El Salvador, so how could it make things better in Iraq?
Here's a Wal-Mart Greeter with a sense of humor that got fired for his latest protest.
Oh my. And people complain about the US Postal Service!? Try this one on for size. How would you like all your mail being sent to South America because someone can't spell?
The culture war deepens as right-wing Christian zealots are taking the Creation vs. Evolution debate to a new level by attempting to force the school baord of Dover, PA to adopt a program that 'balances' the two. What is next? These people are ready to go after the heart of the Enlightenment: rationality.
Are the days of Fox's edgy shows, like the Simpsons, numbered? Rupert Murdoch's NewsCorp is attmepting to buy Fox Entertainment and we all know how his NewsCorp has it's right-wing leanings...
This guy sent over $150k US on Hockey Cards. The problem is the poassionate collector was the director of the Measurement Board of Canada and use the government card to pay for it all. Woops!
The 'Salvador Option' is an awfully chilling one. The US is mulling over taking up the old strategy of training hit squads, just like they did in El Salvador, to roam around Iraq killing insurgent leaders. It had disasteropus effects on the population in El Salvador, so how could it make things better in Iraq?
Here's a Wal-Mart Greeter with a sense of humor that got fired for his latest protest.
Oh my. And people complain about the US Postal Service!? Try this one on for size. How would you like all your mail being sent to South America because someone can't spell?
The culture war deepens as right-wing Christian zealots are taking the Creation vs. Evolution debate to a new level by attempting to force the school baord of Dover, PA to adopt a program that 'balances' the two. What is next? These people are ready to go after the heart of the Enlightenment: rationality.
Are the days of Fox's edgy shows, like the Simpsons, numbered? Rupert Murdoch's NewsCorp is attmepting to buy Fox Entertainment and we all know how his NewsCorp has it's right-wing leanings...
Careful how drunk you get!
Saturday, January 08, 2005
A letter to a dear friend
Dear Alcohol:
First & foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. My friend, you always seem to be there when needed The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around in the holiday's hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings. However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences:
1. Phone calls:
While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make me call those ex-boyfriends / girlfriends when I know for a fact they do not want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night?
2. Eating:
Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest that I eat a taco with chili sauce, along with a big Italian meatball and some stale chips (washed down with WINE & topped off with a Kit Kat after a few cheese curls & chili cheese fries)? I'm an eclectic eater, but I think you went too far this time.
3. Clumsiness:
Unless you're subtly trying to tell me that I need to do more yoga to improve my balance, I see NO need to hammer the issue home by causing me to fall down. It's completely unnecessary, and the black & blue marks that appear on my body mysteriously the next day are beyond me. Similarly, it should never take me more than 45 seconds to get the front door key into the lock.
4. Furthermore:
The hangovers have GOT to stop. This is getting ridiculous. I know a little penance for our previous evening's debauchery may be in order, but the 3pm hangover immobility is completely unacceptable. My entire day is shot. I ask that, if the proper precautions are taken (water, vitamin B, bread products, aspirin) prior to going to sleep/passing out face down on the kitchen floor with a bag of popcorn, the hangover should be minimal & in no way interfere with my daily activities.
Alcohol, I have enjoyed our friendship for some years now & would like to ensure that we remain on good terms.
You've been the invoker of great stories, the provocation for much laughter, and the needed companion when I just don't know what to do with the extra money in my pockets. In order to continue this friendship, I ask that you carefully review my grievances above & address them immediately. I will look for an answer no later than Thursday 3pm (pre-happy hour) on your possible solutions & hopefully we can continue this fruitful partners hip.
Thank you,
Your biggest fan
P.S. THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon
THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Specificity
2. British Constitution
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
2. Nope, no more beer for me.
3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
4. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?
5. Oh, I couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing.
First & foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. My friend, you always seem to be there when needed The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around in the holiday's hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings. However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences:
1. Phone calls:
While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make me call those ex-boyfriends / girlfriends when I know for a fact they do not want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night?
2. Eating:
Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest that I eat a taco with chili sauce, along with a big Italian meatball and some stale chips (washed down with WINE & topped off with a Kit Kat after a few cheese curls & chili cheese fries)? I'm an eclectic eater, but I think you went too far this time.
3. Clumsiness:
Unless you're subtly trying to tell me that I need to do more yoga to improve my balance, I see NO need to hammer the issue home by causing me to fall down. It's completely unnecessary, and the black & blue marks that appear on my body mysteriously the next day are beyond me. Similarly, it should never take me more than 45 seconds to get the front door key into the lock.
4. Furthermore:
The hangovers have GOT to stop. This is getting ridiculous. I know a little penance for our previous evening's debauchery may be in order, but the 3pm hangover immobility is completely unacceptable. My entire day is shot. I ask that, if the proper precautions are taken (water, vitamin B, bread products, aspirin) prior to going to sleep/passing out face down on the kitchen floor with a bag of popcorn, the hangover should be minimal & in no way interfere with my daily activities.
Alcohol, I have enjoyed our friendship for some years now & would like to ensure that we remain on good terms.
You've been the invoker of great stories, the provocation for much laughter, and the needed companion when I just don't know what to do with the extra money in my pockets. In order to continue this friendship, I ask that you carefully review my grievances above & address them immediately. I will look for an answer no later than Thursday 3pm (pre-happy hour) on your possible solutions & hopefully we can continue this fruitful partners hip.
Thank you,
Your biggest fan
P.S. THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon
THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Specificity
2. British Constitution
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
2. Nope, no more beer for me.
3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
4. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?
5. Oh, I couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing.
Friday, January 07, 2005
Guys, you are gonna LOVE this!!!
A little birdy passed me this file. It's big and will take a while to download, but it is so goddamned worth it. Here's a happy thought, think about what the women's showers must have looked like after they did that number...
Click here.
It's in .wmv format so you'll need Windows Media Palyer (most likely version 10) to watch it.
You'll thank me later!!!
Click here.
It's in .wmv format so you'll need Windows Media Palyer (most likely version 10) to watch it.
You'll thank me later!!!
Daily Werid News
Dire preditctions for the NHL. With the 2004-2005 season all but lost, the NHL has cancelled it's January 14th board of governors meeting because there is nothing to talk about. Perhaps the NHL needs some destruction to fix its many ills.
"Jerry Springer - the Opera"? You gotta be kidding. I'd burn whatever medium it's broadcast on too, just like these protesting British. White Trash Theater has finally made it to the UK and they are not happy about it being broadcast on the BBC.
Here's a daming and frightening article. The New England Journal of Medecine accuses some doctors of breaching international law and professional ethics by helping the US military develop interrogation (read: torture) techniques at Guantanamo and Abu Graib.
The news of the Fattest US cities is in, with Houston topping the list. Anyone who has seen the movie 'Supersize Me' could easily guess this. As one would expect, the Fittest Cities (read: in the best shape) were all firmly in the west, starting with Seattle and including San Francisco.
Be careful about where you post yourself on the inernet for 'lost best friends'. This UK guy, reunited with his long lost pal, got stabbed in the heart for his troubles.
Here's an example of the Bush propoganda machine in high gear. Did this commentator, who was paid $24k to say so, really beleive in the No Child Left Behind Act? Makes you wonder who else is on Karl Rove's payroll.
"Jerry Springer - the Opera"? You gotta be kidding. I'd burn whatever medium it's broadcast on too, just like these protesting British. White Trash Theater has finally made it to the UK and they are not happy about it being broadcast on the BBC.
Here's a daming and frightening article. The New England Journal of Medecine accuses some doctors of breaching international law and professional ethics by helping the US military develop interrogation (read: torture) techniques at Guantanamo and Abu Graib.
The news of the Fattest US cities is in, with Houston topping the list. Anyone who has seen the movie 'Supersize Me' could easily guess this. As one would expect, the Fittest Cities (read: in the best shape) were all firmly in the west, starting with Seattle and including San Francisco.
Be careful about where you post yourself on the inernet for 'lost best friends'. This UK guy, reunited with his long lost pal, got stabbed in the heart for his troubles.
Here's an example of the Bush propoganda machine in high gear. Did this commentator, who was paid $24k to say so, really beleive in the No Child Left Behind Act? Makes you wonder who else is on Karl Rove's payroll.
Thursday, January 06, 2005
A Great Browser
Tired of popups, spyware and spam? If you really want to make your computer more secure and have a better broswer, come here to download FireFox.
It's free and it's head and shoulders about Microsoft's Internet Explorer. Plus, the people who code viruses, spuware, mallware and spamware code it to infiltrate Internet Explorer because that's what most people unwittingly use. But the bad guys don't usually code for FireFox... not to mention, it's more secure...
Aside from that, my hands down favorite feature is Tabbed Broswing. You can have multiple tabs open within one browser window. It's so handy! Another great feature is one that allows you to block pictures and cookies (persistent peices of information that reside on your system) from the non-originating server. That means that you can block pictures from those pesky ad-servers and still see the content you want.
So say it once, say it again, the third time's the charm!!!
It's free and it's head and shoulders about Microsoft's Internet Explorer. Plus, the people who code viruses, spuware, mallware and spamware code it to infiltrate Internet Explorer because that's what most people unwittingly use. But the bad guys don't usually code for FireFox... not to mention, it's more secure...
Aside from that, my hands down favorite feature is Tabbed Broswing. You can have multiple tabs open within one browser window. It's so handy! Another great feature is one that allows you to block pictures and cookies (persistent peices of information that reside on your system) from the non-originating server. That means that you can block pictures from those pesky ad-servers and still see the content you want.
So say it once, say it again, the third time's the charm!!!
Your Home Computer in 2004
This is a pretty funny picture of the RAND corporation's prediction of what the 'home computer' would look like in 2004. Too bad its not real. It was actually from a contest to touch up pictures.
Daily Weird News
"The greatest good you can do for another is not just share your riches, but to reveal to him his own."
Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881)
Now Alberto Gonzales' feet are being held to the fire (no doubt a torture tactic he approved for use in Guantanamo Bay) during his confirmation process. Let's see if he thinks this process is "quaint", like he labelled the Geneva Convention.
Some parts of the Israeli army are not pleased with the pullout from Gaza and promised not to follow orders. Their obstinance will be rewarded with being fired.
China tops 1.3 billion in population. That's a lot of people!
Looks like the British have had a lot of immigration as the name 'Mohammed' has moved up to the top 20 list of names for newborn boys.
And what do the Bushies have in mind for Social Security? This leaked memo may give away thier ideas.
And Richard Gere is now appealing to Palestinians to get out the vote in a commercial? Talk about a weird one. Even though his heart is in a good place, most people over there have no idea who Gere is.
Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881)
Now Alberto Gonzales' feet are being held to the fire (no doubt a torture tactic he approved for use in Guantanamo Bay) during his confirmation process. Let's see if he thinks this process is "quaint", like he labelled the Geneva Convention.
Some parts of the Israeli army are not pleased with the pullout from Gaza and promised not to follow orders. Their obstinance will be rewarded with being fired.
China tops 1.3 billion in population. That's a lot of people!
Looks like the British have had a lot of immigration as the name 'Mohammed' has moved up to the top 20 list of names for newborn boys.
And what do the Bushies have in mind for Social Security? This leaked memo may give away thier ideas.
And Richard Gere is now appealing to Palestinians to get out the vote in a commercial? Talk about a weird one. Even though his heart is in a good place, most people over there have no idea who Gere is.
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
Accepting the Election Results?
Congress is meeting tomorrow to accept (or reject) the election results. Representative Conyers, who has been holding hearings to investigate the election fraud, has said that he believes more than one senator will stand with him and other representatives in rejecting the electoral college votes due to the widespread fraud that happened 11/2/04.
Senator Chafee, a REPUBLICAN from Rhode Island who is not a fan of the Bush Administration, and his staffers are keeping a tally of calls in support of Conyers' efforts.
Call his office and be counted! I just called and spoke with a live staffer, who was very friendly and sounded happy to hear from me.
**Call 401-845-0700** Best to do so right away. I just told the staffer that I'm calling to show my support for Representative Conyers' efforts to question the election results, and that I want Senator Chafee to stand in support as well. The staffer thanked me and asked me what town I was from, and it was that simple.
Chafee, Lincoln - (R - RI) Class I
141A RUSSELL SENATE OFFICE BUILDING
WASHINGTON DC 20510
(202) 224-2921
Web Form: http://chafee.senate.gov/webform.htm
District Address - Newport
320 Thames Street, Room 272
Newport, RI 02840
Phone: 401-845-0700
Fax: 401-845-0703
Senator Chafee, a REPUBLICAN from Rhode Island who is not a fan of the Bush Administration, and his staffers are keeping a tally of calls in support of Conyers' efforts.
Call his office and be counted! I just called and spoke with a live staffer, who was very friendly and sounded happy to hear from me.
**Call 401-845-0700** Best to do so right away. I just told the staffer that I'm calling to show my support for Representative Conyers' efforts to question the election results, and that I want Senator Chafee to stand in support as well. The staffer thanked me and asked me what town I was from, and it was that simple.
Chafee, Lincoln - (R - RI) Class I
141A RUSSELL SENATE OFFICE BUILDING
WASHINGTON DC 20510
(202) 224-2921
Web Form: http://chafee.senate.gov/webform.htm
District Address - Newport
320 Thames Street, Room 272
Newport, RI 02840
Phone: 401-845-0700
Fax: 401-845-0703
Daily Weird News
"In archaeology you uncover the unknown. In diplomacy you cover the known."
- Thomas Pickering
Some people! These Columbian heroin trafficers were smuggling their stash in the bellies of puppies. I hope they spend a long time in jail.
Tsunami news:
- Thomas Pickering
Some people! These Columbian heroin trafficers were smuggling their stash in the bellies of puppies. I hope they spend a long time in jail.
Tsunami news:
- Aid is topping 3 billion dollars as the Germans ($600 million) and Australians ($765) really kick in with some major $$$. The US continues to send what it's best at an aricraft carrier battle group, warships and helicopters, which dramatically help the aid effort. It's very encouraging to see the world come together in such a manner.
- Meanwhile this dude survived 7 days out at sea by eating passing coconuts.
- And the Internet is being used for a lot more important thing these days than just porn and jokes over email. Now it's reuniting loved ones after the disaster.
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
Top Searches of 2004
Here's a good indication about what rules the internet. Google just released its top searches for 2004.
Was it 'honest and accurate news reporting'? How about 'ways to help your mother'?
Nope. It was 4 bottle blondes that topped the list.
We could be in trouble...
Was it 'honest and accurate news reporting'? How about 'ways to help your mother'?
Nope. It was 4 bottle blondes that topped the list.
We could be in trouble...
Daily Weird News
Ahhh... image repair opportunity. Generosity from the White House for the aid $$$ is hoped to have a pay off. Will donations and aid help win the hearts and minds of the people of SE Asia in the War on Terror? Afterall, Indonesia is the country with the most Muslims in the world!
This Blugarian man survived a lethal levels of blood alcohol, not to mention that speeding car that hit him. you gotta wonder, did he achieve that drunkedn state just once, or did he have to train for it?
U.S. Agriculture Secretary Ann Veneman on Tuesday said that beef imports from Canada will go ahead regardless of any issues that may arise. I guess there are some benefits to having everyone on the same page as the President.
Wow. This Pennsylvania man sure likes his fries from the BK Lounge.
Canada was not so rapid to send its rapid response team to SE Asia. But at least they are on their way now.
What happened to the ethics clauses in the consitution of the Republican Party, not to mention the Republican controlled senate? Tom Delay, now firmly in power, does not seem to need them anymore. Ahhh, you can always count of the god of hubris to come claim the powerful.
This Blugarian man survived a lethal levels of blood alcohol, not to mention that speeding car that hit him. you gotta wonder, did he achieve that drunkedn state just once, or did he have to train for it?
U.S. Agriculture Secretary Ann Veneman on Tuesday said that beef imports from Canada will go ahead regardless of any issues that may arise. I guess there are some benefits to having everyone on the same page as the President.
Wow. This Pennsylvania man sure likes his fries from the BK Lounge.
Canada was not so rapid to send its rapid response team to SE Asia. But at least they are on their way now.
What happened to the ethics clauses in the consitution of the Republican Party, not to mention the Republican controlled senate? Tom Delay, now firmly in power, does not seem to need them anymore. Ahhh, you can always count of the god of hubris to come claim the powerful.
Sign the Anti-Torture Petition
Let Alberto Gonzales know that the methods he justified for information gathering are not acceptable.
Monday, January 03, 2005
Daily Weird News
Tsunami News:
Here are some of the weirder headlines of 2004.
- Helicopters and Elephants are the saviors of the day in SE Asia. Rescue work continues as the death toll rises to 145,000.
- Three US Presidents have come together to appeal to the citizens of USA for aid. It's nice to see such a untied bi-partisan effort.
- A couple of dolphins got trapped in an inland lake during the Tsunami. Researchers are tossing them fish as these hungry mamals try to survive.
- The King of Cambodia had early Tsunami warning from his astrologer. Did the rituals performed spare his coutnry?
- Here's one sick British guy who sent 'your relative is dead' emails. He'll be doing some time.
Here are some of the weirder headlines of 2004.
Sunday, January 02, 2005
Cell Phone Do Not Call List
Cell phone numbers are being released to telemarketing
companies and you will start to receive sales calls on
cell phones.
Call this number from your cell phone:888-382-1222.
It is the national Do Not Call list. It blocks your
number for 5 years. It takes 1:08 seconds to get your
number added to the do not call list.
Saturday, January 01, 2005
Daily Weird News
Tsunmai Disaster News:
- Wow, the Japanese have really upped the ante in the Tsunami Aid effort, out bidding the United States for $500 million. In the mean time, Bush ordered a flag trubute to the victims of the disaster.
- Prime Minister Paul Martin returns to Canada to start planning on Tsunami Aid.
- People are right back on the beach, like nothing happend. I guess that sunshine is hard to resist.
