Thursday, March 31, 2005
A Little Misunderstanding with Hotel Service
This is a letter from a Cuban who had some trouble expressing himself in English.... For those of you who may not get all the message, a "translation" has been posted below in different color. This is too funny but by no means this intends to offend or aggravate anyone from beautiful Cuba. Therefore, if any of you feel offended or aggravated, please, forgive.
Dier Senior Gerente Jotel:
Now I am tell yu di story jau I was treated at yor jotel.
I cum from miami florida as touris to orlando and estay at yor jotel. When I cum in my room I see der is no shit in my bed. How can I sleep with no shit in my bed? Ay col down de ricepchon and tell dem: -"I wanna shit". Dey tell me "Go to the toilet".. I sey "No, no, I wanna shit in my bed". Dey sey "You betta not shit in yor bed, you sonnawabitch". What is that of sonnawabitch?
I go down for di restoran for breikfast. I order beicon and eggs and two pisses of toast, I getta only one piss oftoast. I tell di waitress and I points to toast. "I wanna piss". She tella me Go to the toilet"... I say "No, No, I wanna piss on my plate". She den say to me: "You piss on yor plate, I col da cops, you sonnawabitch". Secon person who don even know me, and chi col me sonnawabitch! What is that of sonnawabitch?
Later I go a dinner into restoran. Spoon and knife is der but no fock. I tell di waitress "I wanna fock!", and she tell me:- "Sure, everybody wanna fock". I tell her "No, no, you don onderstand me. I wanna fock on di table". She den tell me "So you sonnawabitch, you wanna fock on de table? Get yur ass out of here". So I go to di ricepchon and ask for di bil. I no wanna stay in dis jotel no more. When I have pay di bil, the porter say to me:
"Thank you and piss be with you". I say "piss on you too, you sonnawabitch! If I go back to orlando, I'll never more comma stay in your jotel, you sonnawabitch."
Sinsirly, John Towers From-the-Ass, (Juan Torres Delano)
Translation:
Dear Mr. Hotel Manager:
Now I am telling you the story of how I was treated at your hotel.
I came to Orlando from Miami, Florida as a tourist and stayed in your hotel. When I came to my room I saw there was no sheet on my bed. How could I sleep without a sheet on my bed? I called down the reception and told them: “ I want a sheet.” They told me to go to the toilet. I said, “ No, no, I want a sheet on my bed.“ They said, “You better not sh*t on your bed, you son of a b*tch.” What is that of “son of a b*tch”?
I went down for breakfast to the restaurant. I ordered bacon and eggs and two pieces of toast, I only got one piece of toast. I told the waitress pointing at the toast, “ I want a piece.” She told me “Go to the toilet” I said, “no, no, I want a piece on my plate.” She then said to me, “You piss on your plate, I call the cops, you son of a b*tch.” Second person who doesn’t even know me, and called me “son of a b*tch.” What is that of “son of a b*tch.”
Later, I went for dinner to the restaurant. There were spoon and knife, but no fork. I told the waitress, “I want a fork!” and she told me, “Sure, everybody wants to f*ck.” I told her, “No, no you don’t understand me. I want a fork on the table.” She then told me, “So you son of a b*tch, you want to f*ck on the table? Get your a*s out of here.” So I went to the reception and asked for the bill. I didn’t want to stay in this hotel any more. When I paid the bill, the bellboy said to me: “Thank you and peace be with you.” I said, “Peace on you , too, you son of a b*tch! If I come back to Orlando, I will never come and stay in your hotel, you son of a b*tch.”
Sincerely,
Juan Torres Delano
Dier Senior Gerente Jotel:
Now I am tell yu di story jau I was treated at yor jotel.
I cum from miami florida as touris to orlando and estay at yor jotel. When I cum in my room I see der is no shit in my bed. How can I sleep with no shit in my bed? Ay col down de ricepchon and tell dem: -"I wanna shit". Dey tell me "Go to the toilet".. I sey "No, no, I wanna shit in my bed". Dey sey "You betta not shit in yor bed, you sonnawabitch". What is that of sonnawabitch?
I go down for di restoran for breikfast. I order beicon and eggs and two pisses of toast, I getta only one piss oftoast. I tell di waitress and I points to toast. "I wanna piss". She tella me Go to the toilet"... I say "No, No, I wanna piss on my plate". She den say to me: "You piss on yor plate, I col da cops, you sonnawabitch". Secon person who don even know me, and chi col me sonnawabitch! What is that of sonnawabitch?
Later I go a dinner into restoran. Spoon and knife is der but no fock. I tell di waitress "I wanna fock!", and she tell me:- "Sure, everybody wanna fock". I tell her "No, no, you don onderstand me. I wanna fock on di table". She den tell me "So you sonnawabitch, you wanna fock on de table? Get yur ass out of here". So I go to di ricepchon and ask for di bil. I no wanna stay in dis jotel no more. When I have pay di bil, the porter say to me:
"Thank you and piss be with you". I say "piss on you too, you sonnawabitch! If I go back to orlando, I'll never more comma stay in your jotel, you sonnawabitch."
Sinsirly, John Towers From-the-Ass, (Juan Torres Delano)
Translation:
Dear Mr. Hotel Manager:
Now I am telling you the story of how I was treated at your hotel.
I came to Orlando from Miami, Florida as a tourist and stayed in your hotel. When I came to my room I saw there was no sheet on my bed. How could I sleep without a sheet on my bed? I called down the reception and told them: “ I want a sheet.” They told me to go to the toilet. I said, “ No, no, I want a sheet on my bed.“ They said, “You better not sh*t on your bed, you son of a b*tch.” What is that of “son of a b*tch”?
I went down for breakfast to the restaurant. I ordered bacon and eggs and two pieces of toast, I only got one piece of toast. I told the waitress pointing at the toast, “ I want a piece.” She told me “Go to the toilet” I said, “no, no, I want a piece on my plate.” She then said to me, “You piss on your plate, I call the cops, you son of a b*tch.” Second person who doesn’t even know me, and called me “son of a b*tch.” What is that of “son of a b*tch.”
Later, I went for dinner to the restaurant. There were spoon and knife, but no fork. I told the waitress, “I want a fork!” and she told me, “Sure, everybody wants to f*ck.” I told her, “No, no you don’t understand me. I want a fork on the table.” She then told me, “So you son of a b*tch, you want to f*ck on the table? Get your a*s out of here.” So I went to the reception and asked for the bill. I didn’t want to stay in this hotel any more. When I paid the bill, the bellboy said to me: “Thank you and peace be with you.” I said, “Peace on you , too, you son of a b*tch! If I come back to Orlando, I will never come and stay in your hotel, you son of a b*tch.”
Sincerely,
Juan Torres Delano
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
Bye bye Birdy...
Here's a cute urban legend...
A friend of a friend was asked by her gran to look after her budgie so the old dear could keep her usual Wednesday-afternoon appointment with the hairdresser.
The young woman decided to bird-sit with her new boyfriend, and as they waved the elderly lady off, he came up with the idea to give the bird a treat, reasoning that it must have been ages since it had been allowed to fly around.
After checking that no doors or windows were open and that the cat was out of the room, he opened the cage door and encouraged the bird to stretch its wings. The timid thing took some enticing, so long ago had it last tasted freedom, but then it gathered itself, sidled over to the door, and burst upwards, flying and flapping around in a small feathery frenzy.
Alas, its over-enthusiasm, combined with a novice's grasp of aerobatics, proved costly. For in a crazed bid for even greater liberty, it flew head-long at the large double-glazed patio doors, smashed into the glass and tumbled to the floor.
Luckily, it was still alive, though its leg was quite clearly broken. What would Granny say! The young couple resolved to apply first-aid and come clean with her. Ingeniously, the bloke produced a box of matches from his pocket and, taking a reel of cotton, delicately bound one stick around the distraught budgie's damaged leg as a splint. Then he gently lowered the bird back inside its cage.
Tragically, the boyfriend had not known about the sandpaper floor of the cage, and as the poor budgerigar shuffled over to nibble its dried cuttlefish, the match struck, and the poor thing was engulfed in flames.
A friend of a friend was asked by her gran to look after her budgie so the old dear could keep her usual Wednesday-afternoon appointment with the hairdresser.
The young woman decided to bird-sit with her new boyfriend, and as they waved the elderly lady off, he came up with the idea to give the bird a treat, reasoning that it must have been ages since it had been allowed to fly around.
After checking that no doors or windows were open and that the cat was out of the room, he opened the cage door and encouraged the bird to stretch its wings. The timid thing took some enticing, so long ago had it last tasted freedom, but then it gathered itself, sidled over to the door, and burst upwards, flying and flapping around in a small feathery frenzy.
Alas, its over-enthusiasm, combined with a novice's grasp of aerobatics, proved costly. For in a crazed bid for even greater liberty, it flew head-long at the large double-glazed patio doors, smashed into the glass and tumbled to the floor.
Luckily, it was still alive, though its leg was quite clearly broken. What would Granny say! The young couple resolved to apply first-aid and come clean with her. Ingeniously, the bloke produced a box of matches from his pocket and, taking a reel of cotton, delicately bound one stick around the distraught budgie's damaged leg as a splint. Then he gently lowered the bird back inside its cage.
Tragically, the boyfriend had not known about the sandpaper floor of the cage, and as the poor budgerigar shuffled over to nibble its dried cuttlefish, the match struck, and the poor thing was engulfed in flames.
Saturday, March 26, 2005
Petition for a new Multiple Sclerosis Drug
Please sign:
http://www.petitiononline.com/alprov/petition.html
http://www.petitiononline.com/alprov/petition.html
Right to Die Lauging
The Daily Show has a round up of the media coerage of the Schiavo case. Give it a watch by clicking here!
Friday, March 25, 2005
Food Wars and the American Imperium
Dale M. Atrens, Ph.D.
University of Sydney
University of Bordeaux ll
"No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public." H.L.Mencken (1880-1956)
America is to be admired for many things, particularly its inventiveness. According to the current wisdom in Washington, patriotic God-fearing American Christians invented fire, the wheel, democracy and edible underwear. Such beliefs illustrate the point that Americans are not very good at history. With a President who has just barely mastered his numbers, it is perhaps unreasonable to expect him to be very good at letters. Much of the American public is similarly afflicted. However, there is one most significant American invention for which the authorship is not in any doubt at all. They gave the world nutritional hysteria.
Long ago, in more innocent times, food was for enjoyment. A meal consisted of some meat and vegetables along with bread, wine and perhaps a succulent cheese or two. If you were poor, the meat and the cheese were the first to be sacrificed. Bread and wine were to be defended at all costs. Then something awful happened. Not long after WWII, American health authorities decided that the great killers, heart disease, stroke, cancer and diabetes were 'diseases of affluence.' Faceless bureaucrats whose idea of a good time was grating carrots, tried to convince us that we were enjoying ourselves to death. The war on food and pleasure had begun. Hysteria was to become a major growth industry.
This new American puritanism would have been a difficult pill to swallow even if it had been based on reasonable science. However, it is now clear that the war on pleasure was founded on extremely poor science and, rather than improve public health, it has become a major cause of ill health. The science behind government nutrition edicts is questionable in every respect. It is heavily influenced by corruption at every level and the sorry state of American health is testimony to the fact that it has been a miserable failure.
Consider the case of alcohol. In any sane society it is a staple of life. After the disastrous failure of prohibition in the USA, authorities realised that if they wanted to free America from the clutches of demon rum, they would have to take a different course of action. Since the law failed, all that was left was science. US government health agencies took up where the Federal Bureau of Investigation left off. Scientists were free to say anything about alcohol, as long as it was bad. In the 1950s a huge long-term study found that those who drank alcohol had a lower death rate from heart disease. Since the bureaucrats felt that this painful truth might encourage debauchery, the results were simply censored. They were put in a filing cabinet and locked away. Years later, the accumulated evidence became so overwhelming that even the government couldn't prevent the truth from emerging. The beneficial effect of alcohol on the heart is no longer seriously disputed. Such straightforward censorship casts severe doubts on the integrity of major government agencies, but this is still only dimly recognised in the USA.
The next great food war was the war on dietary fat. The American media still bristle with warnings that dietary fat forms a lethal sludge in the arteries. The resultant circulatory problems may cause heart attacks and other unpleasantness. However, the simple mechanical model of arterial blocking that is used to terrorise the public is wrong. Neither dietary fat nor its partner in crime cholesterol, clog arteries. Nor is there any clear relationship between dietary fat and heart disease. The delightfully excessive people in Haut Garonne eat huge amounts of fat, yet have the lowest rate of death from heart disease in the world. The Americans call this the 'French Paradox' which reflects the fact that the Americans are both puzzled by and suspicious of anything that takes place in France.
The war on dietary fat has been conducted at the same time as the war on carbohydrates. The latter war can largely be attributed to one man, Dr. Robert Atkins. Atkins was the most successful diet guru of all time. His books have sold millions. Much of the world believes that Atkins discovered the secret to easy weight loss by reducing carbohydrate intake. Sadly, their faith is badly misplaced. His only discovery was how to use the alchemy of human desperation to turn public fat into private gold. The Atkins diet isn't even easy. A low carbohydrate diet is boring and for a while you may eat less, but not for long. There's no magic in that. Low carbohydrate or low fat diets are much the same. They are unpleasant, ineffective in producing weight loss and possibly dangerous as well.
The widespread belief that one diet or another along with some exercise is the way to achieve weight loss is a myth. As the American diet and exercise industries have thrived the American public has become steadily fatter. Soon most Americans will only show up in aerial photographs. Since this stark truth would cause a commercial apocalypse, the harsh glare of science is gradually being replaced by marketing. The truth is negotiable. It's business as usual.
After Atkins' recent death some rather embarrassing figures were released. Atkins was grossly fat. The autopsy also referred to myocardial infarction, congestive heart failure and hypertension. Atkins died a bloated wreck at the age of 72. This is hardly a testimonial to the health promoting effects of a low carbohydrate diet.
Early death seems to be the fate of health gurus. The celebrated longevity expert, J.I. Rodale died of a heart attack at age 72 immediately after a television interview during which he said that he would live to be at least 100. Nathan Pritikin, arch-enemy of dietary fat, was riddled with cancer when he suicided at 69. Adele Davis, drank a quart of milk a day because she said that she had never seen an avid milk drinker die of cancer. She died of cancer at 70. Dr. Stuart Berger an ardent advocate of vitamins and exercise died of a heart attack at 40. Not only did these people die young, they probably had a miserable time along the way.
The messianic belief that unpleasant American diets are the solution to the health problems of the rest of the world is absurd. Apart from being among the very fattest nations, American life expectancy is 26th in the world, just behind Cuba and Costa Rica. Since Americans spend vastly more on health and nutrition products than any other nation, this is a very sorry record. Countries, such as France, which keep their nutritionists in their place (laboratories) enjoy themselves more and are healthier as well. Sensible people know that our palates are much wiser that a hundred committees. Governments should not be in our mouths.
The great American sage H.L.Mencken, described conservatism as "The suspicion that somewhere, someone may be having fun." America remains a profoundly conservative nation and increasingly interested in exporting their peculiar views on life. So the next time anyone tells you that your loaf of bread is a paving stone on the highway to Hell respond with a revolutionary salute. Face in the direction of Washington, place both feet together, extend your arm while raising your middle finger and smile...
University of Sydney
University of Bordeaux ll
"No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public." H.L.Mencken (1880-1956)
America is to be admired for many things, particularly its inventiveness. According to the current wisdom in Washington, patriotic God-fearing American Christians invented fire, the wheel, democracy and edible underwear. Such beliefs illustrate the point that Americans are not very good at history. With a President who has just barely mastered his numbers, it is perhaps unreasonable to expect him to be very good at letters. Much of the American public is similarly afflicted. However, there is one most significant American invention for which the authorship is not in any doubt at all. They gave the world nutritional hysteria.
Long ago, in more innocent times, food was for enjoyment. A meal consisted of some meat and vegetables along with bread, wine and perhaps a succulent cheese or two. If you were poor, the meat and the cheese were the first to be sacrificed. Bread and wine were to be defended at all costs. Then something awful happened. Not long after WWII, American health authorities decided that the great killers, heart disease, stroke, cancer and diabetes were 'diseases of affluence.' Faceless bureaucrats whose idea of a good time was grating carrots, tried to convince us that we were enjoying ourselves to death. The war on food and pleasure had begun. Hysteria was to become a major growth industry.
This new American puritanism would have been a difficult pill to swallow even if it had been based on reasonable science. However, it is now clear that the war on pleasure was founded on extremely poor science and, rather than improve public health, it has become a major cause of ill health. The science behind government nutrition edicts is questionable in every respect. It is heavily influenced by corruption at every level and the sorry state of American health is testimony to the fact that it has been a miserable failure.
Consider the case of alcohol. In any sane society it is a staple of life. After the disastrous failure of prohibition in the USA, authorities realised that if they wanted to free America from the clutches of demon rum, they would have to take a different course of action. Since the law failed, all that was left was science. US government health agencies took up where the Federal Bureau of Investigation left off. Scientists were free to say anything about alcohol, as long as it was bad. In the 1950s a huge long-term study found that those who drank alcohol had a lower death rate from heart disease. Since the bureaucrats felt that this painful truth might encourage debauchery, the results were simply censored. They were put in a filing cabinet and locked away. Years later, the accumulated evidence became so overwhelming that even the government couldn't prevent the truth from emerging. The beneficial effect of alcohol on the heart is no longer seriously disputed. Such straightforward censorship casts severe doubts on the integrity of major government agencies, but this is still only dimly recognised in the USA.
The next great food war was the war on dietary fat. The American media still bristle with warnings that dietary fat forms a lethal sludge in the arteries. The resultant circulatory problems may cause heart attacks and other unpleasantness. However, the simple mechanical model of arterial blocking that is used to terrorise the public is wrong. Neither dietary fat nor its partner in crime cholesterol, clog arteries. Nor is there any clear relationship between dietary fat and heart disease. The delightfully excessive people in Haut Garonne eat huge amounts of fat, yet have the lowest rate of death from heart disease in the world. The Americans call this the 'French Paradox' which reflects the fact that the Americans are both puzzled by and suspicious of anything that takes place in France.
The war on dietary fat has been conducted at the same time as the war on carbohydrates. The latter war can largely be attributed to one man, Dr. Robert Atkins. Atkins was the most successful diet guru of all time. His books have sold millions. Much of the world believes that Atkins discovered the secret to easy weight loss by reducing carbohydrate intake. Sadly, their faith is badly misplaced. His only discovery was how to use the alchemy of human desperation to turn public fat into private gold. The Atkins diet isn't even easy. A low carbohydrate diet is boring and for a while you may eat less, but not for long. There's no magic in that. Low carbohydrate or low fat diets are much the same. They are unpleasant, ineffective in producing weight loss and possibly dangerous as well.
The widespread belief that one diet or another along with some exercise is the way to achieve weight loss is a myth. As the American diet and exercise industries have thrived the American public has become steadily fatter. Soon most Americans will only show up in aerial photographs. Since this stark truth would cause a commercial apocalypse, the harsh glare of science is gradually being replaced by marketing. The truth is negotiable. It's business as usual.
After Atkins' recent death some rather embarrassing figures were released. Atkins was grossly fat. The autopsy also referred to myocardial infarction, congestive heart failure and hypertension. Atkins died a bloated wreck at the age of 72. This is hardly a testimonial to the health promoting effects of a low carbohydrate diet.
Early death seems to be the fate of health gurus. The celebrated longevity expert, J.I. Rodale died of a heart attack at age 72 immediately after a television interview during which he said that he would live to be at least 100. Nathan Pritikin, arch-enemy of dietary fat, was riddled with cancer when he suicided at 69. Adele Davis, drank a quart of milk a day because she said that she had never seen an avid milk drinker die of cancer. She died of cancer at 70. Dr. Stuart Berger an ardent advocate of vitamins and exercise died of a heart attack at 40. Not only did these people die young, they probably had a miserable time along the way.
The messianic belief that unpleasant American diets are the solution to the health problems of the rest of the world is absurd. Apart from being among the very fattest nations, American life expectancy is 26th in the world, just behind Cuba and Costa Rica. Since Americans spend vastly more on health and nutrition products than any other nation, this is a very sorry record. Countries, such as France, which keep their nutritionists in their place (laboratories) enjoy themselves more and are healthier as well. Sensible people know that our palates are much wiser that a hundred committees. Governments should not be in our mouths.
The great American sage H.L.Mencken, described conservatism as "The suspicion that somewhere, someone may be having fun." America remains a profoundly conservative nation and increasingly interested in exporting their peculiar views on life. So the next time anyone tells you that your loaf of bread is a paving stone on the highway to Hell respond with a revolutionary salute. Face in the direction of Washington, place both feet together, extend your arm while raising your middle finger and smile...
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Who would you like to buy your gasoline from?
The Saudis are boycotting American goods.
We should return the favor.An interesting thought it to boycott their GAS. Every time you fill up the car, you can avoid putting more money into the coffers of Saudi Arabia. Just buy from gas companies that don't import their oil from the Saudis.
Nothing is more frustrating than the feeling that every time I fill-up the tank, I am sending my money to people who are trying to kill me, my family, and my friends.
I thought it might be interesting for you to know which oil companies are the best to buy gas from and which major companies import Middle Eastern oil :
Arab oil:
If you do the math at $30/barrel, these imports amount to over $18 BILLION!
Here are some large companies that do not import Middle Eastern oil:
Other oil:
All of this information is available from the Department of Energy and each is required to state where they get their oil and how much they are importing.
But to have an impact, we need to reach literally millions of gas buyers. It's really simple to do.
We should return the favor.An interesting thought it to boycott their GAS. Every time you fill up the car, you can avoid putting more money into the coffers of Saudi Arabia. Just buy from gas companies that don't import their oil from the Saudis.
Nothing is more frustrating than the feeling that every time I fill-up the tank, I am sending my money to people who are trying to kill me, my family, and my friends.
I thought it might be interesting for you to know which oil companies are the best to buy gas from and which major companies import Middle Eastern oil :
Arab oil:
| Shell | 205,742,000 barrels |
| Chevron/Texaco | 144,332,000 barrels |
| Exxon/Mobil | 130,082,000 barrels |
| Marathon/Speedway | 117,740,000 barrels |
| Amoco | 62,231,000 barrels |
If you do the math at $30/barrel, these imports amount to over $18 BILLION!
Here are some large companies that do not import Middle Eastern oil:
Other oil:
| Citgo | 0 barrels |
| Sunoco | 0 barrels |
| Conoco | 0 barrels |
| Sinclair | 0 barrels |
| BP/Phillips | 0 barrels |
| Hess | 0 barrels |
| ARC0 | 0 barrels |
All of this information is available from the Department of Energy and each is required to state where they get their oil and how much they are importing.
But to have an impact, we need to reach literally millions of gas buyers. It's really simple to do.
Survivor Southern Style
Due to the popularity of the Survivor shows, several southern TV stations are joining together and are planning to do their own, titled: Survivor Southern Style The contestants will start in Alabama, travel over to Georgia and on to South Carolina.
From there they will head up to North Carolina and over to Tennessee. They will then proceed down to Mississippi and Louisiana. Finally ending up back in Alabama.
Each will be driving a pink Volvo with New Jersey license plates and large bumper stickers that read: I'm Gay, I'm a Vegetarian, I'm here to campaign to take your guns, NASCAR Sucks, Go Yankees! Hillary in 2008, and Deer Hunting is Murder !
The first one that makes it back to Montgomery alive, wins.
From there they will head up to North Carolina and over to Tennessee. They will then proceed down to Mississippi and Louisiana. Finally ending up back in Alabama.
Each will be driving a pink Volvo with New Jersey license plates and large bumper stickers that read: I'm Gay, I'm a Vegetarian, I'm here to campaign to take your guns, NASCAR Sucks, Go Yankees! Hillary in 2008, and Deer Hunting is Murder !
The first one that makes it back to Montgomery alive, wins.
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
American Idol
This is cute. Here is amock American Idol with the current clebrities trying to make it big...
Sunday, March 20, 2005
Daily
Just when you thought buying that copy of 'Vitol Idol' was enough to satisfy your Billy Idol craving, he omes out with a new album. Don't get my worng I loved Billy Idol... when I was 15... We can always blame Adam Sandler for this comeback since Sandler put Idol in his ode to 80's kitsch, 'The Wedding Singer'.
Saturday, March 19, 2005
Daily Weird News
Now this is NOT the kind of man I'd like working at the kennel where I leave my dog while I go on vacation... Let's just say he's too dedicated to his job.
Sorry... there just was not enough weird news today so I had ot dip into politics...
Are Republicans becoming victims of their own success? It seems some of the divisions in the party are now starting to show since they have no one else to fight but each other... This may be the goal of the grand Democratic Party's strategy to keep losing election after election.
Here's a pretty creepy move by Repulicans...
Sorry... there just was not enough weird news today so I had ot dip into politics...
Are Republicans becoming victims of their own success? It seems some of the divisions in the party are now starting to show since they have no one else to fight but each other... This may be the goal of the grand Democratic Party's strategy to keep losing election after election.
Here's a pretty creepy move by Repulicans...
Friday, March 18, 2005
New 401K
If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00.
With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1,000.00.
With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left
But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of Beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling REFUND, you would have had $214.00.
Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle. It's called the 401-Keg Plan
With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1,000.00.
With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left
But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of Beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling REFUND, you would have had $214.00.
Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle. It's called the 401-Keg Plan
Thursday, March 17, 2005
Daily Weird News
Once again, the Onion has the scoop:
Mexico has opened retirement homes for aging hookers. What will they think of next? Nobody needs to see that on the streets...
- On the real story at Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch
- The food industry's reaction to the Atkins fad
- A negative accomplishment in rural America
Mexico has opened retirement homes for aging hookers. What will they think of next? Nobody needs to see that on the streets...
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
Blast from the past... errr.... I mean the present
Here's an entertaining post from one of my e-girlfriend's fiance. I dated her about 10 years ago in Paris but her fiance seems to still fall prey to some jealousy. Please go to his blog and have a nice read.
She pointed out a posting of his from last October that mentions me a couple times. He even references me and my past addiction to sending anti-war spam emails as a reason for his blogging efforts. I find the characterization of me, not to mention the quotes he puts around my name, quite entertaining and flattering. After all, we are all easy victims for the device of flattery.
If you are interested in reading more of his blog, you can find a link to it, called "my leftwing girlfriend", on the righthand sidebar of this blog, down in the secion called "blogs of note". It's an entertaining read, not just your average rightwing bleating but there is some cute stuff about their relationship. His posting titled "They're fighting in the car" again is fun and demonstrates well the author's sense of humor and willingness for self deprication. I know what he's talking about. I used to argue with her too. I've felt the frustration...
She pointed out a posting of his from last October that mentions me a couple times. He even references me and my past addiction to sending anti-war spam emails as a reason for his blogging efforts. I find the characterization of me, not to mention the quotes he puts around my name, quite entertaining and flattering. After all, we are all easy victims for the device of flattery.
If you are interested in reading more of his blog, you can find a link to it, called "my leftwing girlfriend", on the righthand sidebar of this blog, down in the secion called "blogs of note". It's an entertaining read, not just your average rightwing bleating but there is some cute stuff about their relationship. His posting titled "They're fighting in the car" again is fun and demonstrates well the author's sense of humor and willingness for self deprication. I know what he's talking about. I used to argue with her too. I've felt the frustration...
Monday, March 14, 2005
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay "them."
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love, Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love, Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
What's your Answer?
Read this question, come up with an answer and then scroll down to the bottom for the result. This is not a trick question. It is as it reads. No one I know has gotten it right-including me.
A woman, while at the funeral of her own mother, met this guy whom she did not know. She thought this guy was amazing, so much her dream guy she believed him to be just that! She fell in love with him right there, but never asked for his number and could not find him. A few days later she killed her sister.
Question: What is her motive in killing her sister?
(Give this some thought before you answer)....
Answer: She was hoping that the guy would appear at the funeral again. If you answered this correctly, you think like a psychopath. This was a test by a famous American Psychologist used to test if one has the same mentality as a killer. Many arrested serial killers took part in the test and answered the question correctly. If you didn't answer the question correctly, good for you. If you got the answer correct, please let me know so I can take you off of my email list unless that will tick you off, then I'll just be extra nice to you from now on.
A woman, while at the funeral of her own mother, met this guy whom she did not know. She thought this guy was amazing, so much her dream guy she believed him to be just that! She fell in love with him right there, but never asked for his number and could not find him. A few days later she killed her sister.
Question: What is her motive in killing her sister?
(Give this some thought before you answer)....
Answer: She was hoping that the guy would appear at the funeral again. If you answered this correctly, you think like a psychopath. This was a test by a famous American Psychologist used to test if one has the same mentality as a killer. Many arrested serial killers took part in the test and answered the question correctly. If you didn't answer the question correctly, good for you. If you got the answer correct, please let me know so I can take you off of my email list unless that will tick you off, then I'll just be extra nice to you from now on.
Friday, March 11, 2005
Watch and learn...
Everything you've ever wanted to know about periods... as per this 50's video Public Service Announcement...
Todd's New Commute
Greetings folks.
I would like to let you know that I have given my notice at my current postion at Movaris. My old commute from the Marina in SF to the Cuertion Office looks like this: click here.
I will be starting my new postion at Visage Mobile on March 28th. I am very excited to be there and look forward to working with the new team. My new commute will look like this: click HERE.
Notice the difference in the 'Distance' box upper right hand corners. Old Commute: 45 miles (43 minutes without traffic, so really 60 minutes). New Commute: 2.6 miles (4 minutes without traffic, so really about 10 minutes). Whatever will I do with that extra 100 minutes a day, 5 days a week? I'll think of something...
I am a happy boy.
I would like to let you know that I have given my notice at my current postion at Movaris. My old commute from the Marina in SF to the Cuertion Office looks like this: click here.
I will be starting my new postion at Visage Mobile on March 28th. I am very excited to be there and look forward to working with the new team. My new commute will look like this: click HERE.
Notice the difference in the 'Distance' box upper right hand corners. Old Commute: 45 miles (43 minutes without traffic, so really 60 minutes). New Commute: 2.6 miles (4 minutes without traffic, so really about 10 minutes). Whatever will I do with that extra 100 minutes a day, 5 days a week? I'll think of something...
I am a happy boy.
Daily Weird News
The shelves of the local supermarket are a little bare? This Red Cross facility in Thailand is missing over 80 cobras and they fear these animals have been substituted for somebody's repast.
Anti-Bush road rage in Florida has spurned an ugly incident for which this guy is going to jail. Some people just don;t get it, the election is OVER.
Now this is just a crazy extnesion of the new business trend. McDonalds is now outsourcing thier drive-thru order taking to an offsite location. Right now, people in North Dakota are taking orders for LA customers, but how long will it be until the order is taken in Bangalore?
Anti-Bush road rage in Florida has spurned an ugly incident for which this guy is going to jail. Some people just don;t get it, the election is OVER.
Now this is just a crazy extnesion of the new business trend. McDonalds is now outsourcing thier drive-thru order taking to an offsite location. Right now, people in North Dakota are taking orders for LA customers, but how long will it be until the order is taken in Bangalore?
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?
ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.
COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I need!
ABBOTT: Real One.
COSTELLO: If it's a long movie, I also want to watch reels 2, 3 and 4. Can I watch them?
ABBOTT: Of course.
COSTELLO: Great! With what?
ABBOTT: Real One.
COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?
ABBOTT: You click the blue "1".
COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?
ABBOTT: The blue "1".
COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue w?
ABBOTT: The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W" is Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: But there are three words in "office for windows"!
ABBOTT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.
COSTELLO: It is?
ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there.
COSTELLO: And that word is real one?
ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part of Office.
COSTELLO: STOP! Don't start that again. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
(A few days later)
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT: Click on "START".......
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?
ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.
COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I need!
ABBOTT: Real One.
COSTELLO: If it's a long movie, I also want to watch reels 2, 3 and 4. Can I watch them?
ABBOTT: Of course.
COSTELLO: Great! With what?
ABBOTT: Real One.
COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?
ABBOTT: You click the blue "1".
COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?
ABBOTT: The blue "1".
COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue w?
ABBOTT: The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W" is Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: But there are three words in "office for windows"!
ABBOTT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.
COSTELLO: It is?
ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there.
COSTELLO: And that word is real one?
ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part of Office.
COSTELLO: STOP! Don't start that again. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
(A few days later)
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT: Click on "START".......
Daily Weird News
Once again, the Onion has the scoop:
Is this a new entry into the realm of phone sex? Well, at least it will sound like foreplay, as this SF adult film company is now offering 'ring moans' for cell phones. What ever happened to just making it sound like a phone?
- On the Bush Administration's circuitous Iraq exit policy...
- How the world of reality TV discriminates against blacks...
- This North Carolina man is looking for victims to his upcoming senseless killing spree..
Is this a new entry into the realm of phone sex? Well, at least it will sound like foreplay, as this SF adult film company is now offering 'ring moans' for cell phones. What ever happened to just making it sound like a phone?
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
Kiss Lives!!!
I wanna Rock and Roll all night... and eat bamboo all day...
Daily Weird News
Yikes, looks like someone had a few too many in this tequla drinking contest (like 50 shots) in the Dominnican Republic... But for this guy there will be no hangover when he's in his cold dark grave.
Is the netoriously slow Italian justice system giving this guy a reason to live or making his last six months a living hell? The doctorr told this guy he had six months to live but the Sicilian courts told this man that he had to wait 14 months for his settlement. Nice...
A hard lesson in love and cold for this LA man. Not only is he getting deported for his treak from Pembina, North Dakota to Emerson, Manitoba (crossing the border), but during the trek frostbite claimed most all of his digits (hands and feet)... all because these star crossed lovers met in an internet chat room...
Is the netoriously slow Italian justice system giving this guy a reason to live or making his last six months a living hell? The doctorr told this guy he had six months to live but the Sicilian courts told this man that he had to wait 14 months for his settlement. Nice...
A hard lesson in love and cold for this LA man. Not only is he getting deported for his treak from Pembina, North Dakota to Emerson, Manitoba (crossing the border), but during the trek frostbite claimed most all of his digits (hands and feet)... all because these star crossed lovers met in an internet chat room...
Monday, March 07, 2005
Great Car Ad... for an 88 Dodge Aries...
All you K-car owners take a look at this ad. It'll do you proud!
Daily Weird News
Here's a nice homo-erotic golf picture.. did he miss the shot or what is really going on here?
Kristi Alley is taking a new approach to her career... becoming a 'fat actress' did seem to work pretty well for Anna Nicole Smith, but will it work for Kristi? It's kind of a shame, as she used to be so hot...
Eye modification as art? Hey, I'm all about a good tattoo, but embedding objects in the whites of people's eyes does not sounds like a medically safe idea to me. Of course, some meatballs are going so far as to try and ban the practice. But a ban without any medical evidence does not make any sense to me...
Hmmm... I wonder who this new law in San Louis Obispo is aimed at? Removing smelly and disruptive people from the library... that and keeping homeless people from using the library as a place to go... I'm surprised they have not done this in SF yet.
600 Thai police have lost the right to write traffic ticket as they failed a traffic test.
Kristi Alley is taking a new approach to her career... becoming a 'fat actress' did seem to work pretty well for Anna Nicole Smith, but will it work for Kristi? It's kind of a shame, as she used to be so hot...
Eye modification as art? Hey, I'm all about a good tattoo, but embedding objects in the whites of people's eyes does not sounds like a medically safe idea to me. Of course, some meatballs are going so far as to try and ban the practice. But a ban without any medical evidence does not make any sense to me...
Hmmm... I wonder who this new law in San Louis Obispo is aimed at? Removing smelly and disruptive people from the library... that and keeping homeless people from using the library as a place to go... I'm surprised they have not done this in SF yet.
600 Thai police have lost the right to write traffic ticket as they failed a traffic test.
Friday, March 04, 2005
Go Leafs GO!!!
It's kind of bizarre to have a die-hard Vancouver fan rooting for the Leafs, but the Leafs' owner Tennenbaum is a lone voice of reason in this NHL lockout mess. As an owner, he's taking the unpopular position of demanding a quick rectification to the labour stoppage, even if it damages the weaker franchises (which should not exist anyway, according to this hockey fan; teams i non-hockey areas like Carolina, Florida, Aneheim, Atlanta). After reading his prepared statement at the owners meeting, he quickly became a target for abuse from fellow owners.
Gotta love seeing some people, in all this mess, with some backbone that stands up for the interests of the game and the fans. Way to speak out and deliver a message that Bettman and crowd do not want to hear!
Gotta love seeing some people, in all this mess, with some backbone that stands up for the interests of the game and the fans. Way to speak out and deliver a message that Bettman and crowd do not want to hear!
Daily Weird News
Just when you thought it was safe to come out of the kitchen... Martha Stewart has been released upon the populace!!!
And further developements in the sad sad NHL saga sees the Red Wings putting the kaibosh on the buyout offer from Boston. Yes, the beantown boys offered to purchase the precarious league for 3.5 billion.
This is not a fun afternoon for a 92 yr old Harlem lady. She slipped and impaled herself on the cold water tap in her bath tub and was not resuced for 6 hours.
Has this ex-Sex Pistol gone soft? The bassist now is calling for less swearing on TV. So now who wants to be an anarchist?
The US Senate, in it's flawed wisdom, has voted to ban Canadian beef imports, but President Bush has vowed to veto the bill if it passes in the house. Not only that, but he's also backing the EU's diplomatic process with Iran over objections at home. What the heck is going on here? In these cases, President Bush is my good guy. I think I need another bong rip...
And further developements in the sad sad NHL saga sees the Red Wings putting the kaibosh on the buyout offer from Boston. Yes, the beantown boys offered to purchase the precarious league for 3.5 billion.
This is not a fun afternoon for a 92 yr old Harlem lady. She slipped and impaled herself on the cold water tap in her bath tub and was not resuced for 6 hours.
Has this ex-Sex Pistol gone soft? The bassist now is calling for less swearing on TV. So now who wants to be an anarchist?
The US Senate, in it's flawed wisdom, has voted to ban Canadian beef imports, but President Bush has vowed to veto the bill if it passes in the house. Not only that, but he's also backing the EU's diplomatic process with Iran over objections at home. What the heck is going on here? In these cases, President Bush is my good guy. I think I need another bong rip...
Thursday, March 03, 2005
Daily Weird News
Kids making Crystal Meth via the Snoopy SnowCone machine? True or false, it's worth a good laugh. So is the site on which this posting resides: Lie Biography
Check out Apple's new specialty iPods... courtesy of Lie Biography...
Buy the NHL? For $3.5 billion? Now that would be an interesting twist in the sad NHL lockout saga. It might be just the thing. I hope the first item of business will be to can Gary Bettman and make Bob Goodenow wear a pink tutu to work.
Those of you with pet dogs in Helskinki can finally take care of that pesky wolf problem...
THe Roman Catholic Bishop of Calgary wants Prime Minister Paul Martin excommunicated from the RC Chruch. I wonder how I could be so honored? This religious intolerance is obviously coming from Martin's push for gay rights in Canada.
This massive trial in Angers, France sees 66 people on trial for sexual abuse, rape and selling of children. It sounds like a page out of the movie 'Deliverance'. As one would expect, al lthese people come from deprived backgrounds, in a small town with no jobs or skills. Apparently this has been going on for generations in this place.
Check out Apple's new specialty iPods... courtesy of Lie Biography...
Buy the NHL? For $3.5 billion? Now that would be an interesting twist in the sad NHL lockout saga. It might be just the thing. I hope the first item of business will be to can Gary Bettman and make Bob Goodenow wear a pink tutu to work.
Those of you with pet dogs in Helskinki can finally take care of that pesky wolf problem...
THe Roman Catholic Bishop of Calgary wants Prime Minister Paul Martin excommunicated from the RC Chruch. I wonder how I could be so honored? This religious intolerance is obviously coming from Martin's push for gay rights in Canada.
This massive trial in Angers, France sees 66 people on trial for sexual abuse, rape and selling of children. It sounds like a page out of the movie 'Deliverance'. As one would expect, al lthese people come from deprived backgrounds, in a small town with no jobs or skills. Apparently this has been going on for generations in this place.
WORLD WAR III
President Bush and Rumsfeld are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Rumsfeld sitting over there?"
The bartender says, "Yep, that's them."
So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a real honor! . What are you guys doing in here?"
Bush says, "We're planning WW III."
And the guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"
Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 140 million Muslims and one blonde with big tits."
The guy exclaimed, "A blonde with big tits? Why kill a blonde with big tits?"
Bush turns to Rumsfeld and says, "See, I told you no one CARES about the 140 million Muslims".
The bartender says, "Yep, that's them."
So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a real honor! . What are you guys doing in here?"
Bush says, "We're planning WW III."
And the guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"
Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 140 million Muslims and one blonde with big tits."
The guy exclaimed, "A blonde with big tits? Why kill a blonde with big tits?"
Bush turns to Rumsfeld and says, "See, I told you no one CARES about the 140 million Muslims".
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
Daily Weird News
The Onion, as always, has the scoop!
Prince Charles is greeted with topless dancers in Alice Springs, Australia. Nice!
- The new changes one of the next pope-hopefuls is ready to make upon his ascension to the throne...
- The new 'Tony's Law' that would tell the neighborhood who is holding some stash...
- Dog chow commercials are making real dogs feel inadequate...
Prince Charles is greeted with topless dancers in Alice Springs, Australia. Nice!
SF Police Crime map by neighborhood
This is a truly interesting link for all you SF dewllers.. It does not seem to work all that well in anything other than Microsoft's Internet Explorer (too bad).
Makes me glad I moved from Potrero to the Marina...
Makes me glad I moved from Potrero to the Marina...
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
Oh Canada!
Miss Canada Natalie Glebova poses during her visit to Corn Island, along a Carribean beach, March 1, 2005. Glebova is visiting Nicaragua as a guest of the organizers of the Miss Nicaragua pageant, which takes place on March 5. REUTERS/Martin Arguello Silueta
Daily Weird News
Arnold's new politcal fiction is threatening to further blurr the line between fact and fiction. Now his administration is releasing news-like press releases. It's one more clever step in the war of spin!
It's sad to see the depths to which the cops will stoop. In trying to get a 78 year old lady's boyfriend, they are prosecuting her for the half pound of pot they found in her freezer. Come on guys! Just legalize it finally!!!
As Van Halen so well sang, someone is hot for the teacher. Here's another female teacher that is sunk to the gutter by having sex with a 16 yer old pupil while her 2 year old was in the back seat. I'm sure the porno version of the story will be coming out in no time...
Speaking of the porn industry, now beloved porn star Ron Jeremy has been asked to speak before Oxford Union debating society. After all, he is the best!
Yikes! I wouldn't drink this cure-all either.
It's sad to see the depths to which the cops will stoop. In trying to get a 78 year old lady's boyfriend, they are prosecuting her for the half pound of pot they found in her freezer. Come on guys! Just legalize it finally!!!
As Van Halen so well sang, someone is hot for the teacher. Here's another female teacher that is sunk to the gutter by having sex with a 16 yer old pupil while her 2 year old was in the back seat. I'm sure the porno version of the story will be coming out in no time...
Speaking of the porn industry, now beloved porn star Ron Jeremy has been asked to speak before Oxford Union debating society. After all, he is the best!
Yikes! I wouldn't drink this cure-all either.
