Three Headed Dragon

Here's an interesting article about the long running battle over global warming and someone calling the environmentalists on thier claims about the science behind the Tsunami.

Here's somewhere you don't want to go, either to find someone or to be found.

And here's no surprise. The Tsunami has been great for ratings on the major news stations. It would be nice if these guys would actuyally give us useful news about the disaster instead of fear mongering about a Tsunami happening here.

Tsunami News:

• With the death rising beyond catastrphic levels, the USA has stepped up as the world leader it is to have Preseident Bush pledge $350 million in aid for the disaster releif. All told, it is estmated that $600 million is pledged world wide.
  
• Here is a very intereting BBC article about how the public opinion forced the governments of the developed world to up their contributions and make a REAL difference.
  
• Canada stepped up its pledge to $40 million and for the first time this century, joined a US lead coalition (of the very willing) to aid the tsunami victims.
• Also, Canada has given a debt moratorium to those nations effected by the tsunami. It makes me PROUD to be a citizen!
  
• The rest of the world reins in their NYE parties in obsevance of the tragedy
• The relief effort begins. Here are some pictures.
• Surf's up, Up, UP Dude!!! THis briton actually surfed the first wave of the Tsunami. Can you say "Lucky, lucky bastard!!!!"?
  

Bush must have liked that Alberta steak he was served when he was in Canada because he's standing by his pledge to open US borders to Canadian beef, even with the isloated case of MAd Cow that has been found. There is some interesting pressure coming from the American Meat Institute in the form of a law suit to force the USDA to allow the importation of the beef.

Team Canada is continuing to dominate at the world junior championships, outscoring everyone, 35-5. Go byes, go!!!

Here's some words about the disaster in Phuket from a friend who has a house there. He was in his house at the time of the tsunami and has lots to tell about it.

Check this link to the second part. He's a pretty good photgrapher.

Here's a great link provided by MoveOn.org to send a letter (well, an email really) to President Bush to petition him to up the amount of aid for the Tsunami Disaster. I wrote him. It'll only take a minute of your time. Ask him to 'unleash the compassion' that is supposed to be part of his compassionate conservatism!!

The hawks and doves that are coming together to form a majority government, with Ariel Sharon and Shimon Peres forming a unity government to seek peace through total abandonment of Gaza and all the settlements there. Who would have ever thought this possible. The death of Arafat seems to be bringing new opportunities for peace to the area.

One more Mad Cow in Canada? It might not matter as it is an isolated case and the USDA is planning to remove the ban on the importation of Canadian beef in March '05. Perhaps this is what Prime Minister Paul Martin got out of Dubbya on his visit to the Great White North.

The Spanish are now moving towards legalizing gay marriage, and they don't even have Will and Grace on their TV screen yet. Weren't these the people who had all the religious fervor to pursue the Inquisition? What happened? The religious right of the US wants to know.

Here are some more great links on how to help the victims of the Tsunami Disaster. The death toll has risen to roughly 114,000 and counting. Donate now!

Here's a chart of the current donors for the Tsunami Disaster. Maybe the anti-globalists should shut up for a moment about the evils of the World Bank, which is by far and away the largest donor of them all.

• World Bank $250m
• UK $96m
• EU $44m
• US: $35m
• Canada: $33m
• Japan: $30m
• Australia: $27m
• France: $20.4m
• Denmark: $15.6m
• Saudi Arabia: $10m
• Norway: $6.6m
• Taiwan: $5.1m
• Finland: $3.4m
• Kuwait: $2.1m
• Netherlands: $2.6m
• UAE: $2m
• Ireland $1.3m
• Singapore: $1.2m

The largest single national donor is the UK. Perhaps Bush can end his war in Iraq early for one day or two and use that half a billion to help people who need it. Good people of the US, write your senator!

Here's a story about how to look for people who survived. There are some good links to finding people.

Here's a chilling story from the UK's Sunday Times Online about an innocuous looking jet that the CIA has been using to transport terror suspects around. They like to call is 'extraordinary rendition', where they take suspects from one country to another, sometimes to be tortured.

I wonder what accompanies a first class seat on this sucker? Electrodes for the genitals? Yikes!

God Bless America.

Let's hope Bush will feel Christian enough to 'unleash the compassion' and have the USA act like the world leader it is and donate more cash to the Tsunami disaster relief.

The Russians are going to begin charging the US for trips for US astronauts through 'commercialization' of the space flights to the Space Station. NASA has not yet picked up the slack left by the Space Shuttle program and the Russians are tired of paying the bill. Perhaps this is what the conservatives wanted all along; taking space flight out of government hands and putting it in the 'private sector'. But something tells me this is not what they had in mind.

A couple interesting side bars to the Tsunami Disaster:
(1) This quake may have moved the earth slightly from it's normal orbit with a little wobble.
(2) The animals in Sri-Lanka's wildlife preserve (not more than 2 miles from the coast) may have felt this coming because the park officials cannot find any dead beasts while, at the same place, 40 tourists were killed.

Police in Rabat, Morocco are at war with 'Professional Beggars' who rent and drug children to generate sympathy in the streets. I remember seeing such heinous people with passed out kids in the streets when I lived in Paris. I wonder how long such scum would last in the US?

Read this headline carefully. For some reason, perhaps my latent dyslexia, I thought they were talking about the 'Ghost of Barry Bonds' and as far as I know, he's still taking steroids...

This one has a lot of strange questions for the family tree. It looks like a mother (age 55) got implanted with her daughter's eggs and then was fertilized by her son in-law's seamen and gave birth to triplets. So who will the babes call 'mother' and who will they call 'grandmother'? It seems to have the smack of a hillbilly family tree...

And finally, the Canadian Junior team looks to be playing very well. There is also a heartwarming little story about the Borque family and the young Chris Bourque.

This is truly a disaster of biblical proportions. The Red Cross is expecting the death toll to eventually rise to 100,000 people. So in this season of giving (inspired by a giving Christ), lets reach out and do what we can to ease the pain. If you still have any doubt, take a look at these pictures from the BBC. Any more second thoughts? It looks like those with the highest death toll is going to be children.

What's the big deal with adding another $50 to our credit card debt incurred over the Christmas shopping season? Please send money to those who can do the most good with it.

American Friends Service Committee (AFSC Crisis Fund) 1-888-588-2372

Doctors Without Borders/Medecins Sans Frontieres 1-888-392-0392

U.S. Red Cross 1-800-435-7669

International Red Cross

Mercy Corps 1-800-292-3355

Here's an amazing stroy of a Swedish boy that lost his family but was found by his uncle at home via the picture posted on the internet.

International Red Cross has a good dir4ect site that will funnel funds directly to the SE Asia releif effort. It is very convenient for credit cards (but kind of slow).

Australian Red Cross

Care Australia

Oxfam's earthquake tsunami emergency fund

World Vision's disaster fund.

UNICEF of Australia

It must be nice to have this kind of cash to give out to people. It seems that there really was a Santa Claus, of sorts, for the people of this Denver homeless shelter.

"It is important to realize that any lock can be picked with a big enough hammer."
- Sun Microsystems (System & Network Admin manual)

U.N. Emergency Relief Coordinator Jan Egeland had to back down today from his earlier comments that the developed nations were stingy in their disaster relief efforts for the tsunami victims. But really, how much money have we donated? The US (population approximately 320 million) sent a paltry 15 million and the EU (population approximately 450 million) a measly 20 million while Canada sent 4 million (population approximately 30 million). Nice huh? The number of casualties continues to skyrocket as aid agencies do their best to help.

This Colorado guy's Christmas Light website was quite a scam, but is sounds like quite a clever scam.

When did Bin Laden become a religious figurehead that could tell Muslims if they are going to heaven or hell? I thought that was reserved for the Imams and Mullahs. No matter, because some people have taken his words as out of the Koran and attacked more good people.

This poor skirt wearing guy got trapped in an aid bin in Australia... I wonder if he was there on a bet.

Is this a sign that the people of Algeria are becoming more westernized, now that they have their own woman's glamour magazine? I bet it won't take more than a few issues before the presses these magazines are printed on are blown up by Islamic militants.

T'was the night before Christmas, and I've just got to say;
What the Hell is going on, in our culture today?

What happened to manners, since when is it proper;
To take your cell phone, to church and the Opera?
And if you think that is the height of it all;
Look at those idiots dialing from the stall!

We have drugs to treat AIDS, so no one must die;
Unless you're in Africa, with no cash to buy.
No money for schools, it's for the defense giants;
Provided of course, they are Dick Cheney clients.

What was Ohio thinking, to do such a thing;
This dim-witted cowboy, re-elected as king?
And no one thought to ask our governing powers;
Wasn't it bin Laden who blew up the Towers?

Hussein's capture, it distracted the nation
That WMD was total fabrication
But free prescription promises, clouded the fact;
We had no real business, invading Iraq.

The mortars were stacked, by the mosque walls with care,
To kill our GI's, who soon would be there.
Our guys and our gals have a no-win situation
Facing roadside bombs, ambush, and awful mutilation

Security alerts rise, to ominous heights;
So you won't notice, the gutted Bill of Rights.
Now don't get me wrong, I support our brave fighting force;
But I don't want them dead, in some 'Nam refresher course.

And over in the Middle East, what could they be thinking;
40 days of mourning Arafat, what the Hell are they drinking?
He stole from his people, blew up school kids with no remorse;
So now in the Arab world, he's a big hero of course.

But who cares about situations like that, we can't disparage;
With more important things to do, like preventing fag marriage.
Grab a beer and some chips and sit down in the chair;
And watch all the reality shows certain to air.

Kick back in the recliner, tune into the box;
For "Housewives," "Survivor," and anything on FOX.
Sit there transfixed, slamming mug after mug;
Hoping to catch someone, eating a bug.

Whatever happened to peace on earth, goodwill for all;
Do we forget it to fight, for parking at the mall?
Please take a minute to reflect on what is right;
Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

-RG

"I thought I would share this with you - I went to a dinner party last night and my friend Phil brought this Zin and it was so goooood. Everyone at the dinner kept commenting how fruity and good it was. I couldn't believe it under $8. fyi.

Dave"

Rosenblum Vintners Cuvee XXVI Zinfandel

Price: $7.98

This is the 26th non vintage Vintners Cuvee, and as in years past, it is a blend of wines from various regions of California. The cuvee concept allows the Zin experts at Rosenblum to produce a rich and fruity wine by combining separate, unique lots of from the state's coastal, inland, mountain and valley fruit. The final blend shows lovely raspberry and cherry fruit, and an overall complexity rare to comparably priced Zinfandels.

Here's an interesting site that has lots of information about what went on in Ohio this last November. Was the black vote systematically supressed? You decide.

Some firefighters in Helskini somehow lit their sauna on fire and could not put it out. I'll tell you, I've seen one of them things go up (from about 6 feet away) last January, and there is no stopping it, no matter how many fires you've put out.

Here's a corrupt Replublican Govenor in Connecticut. Who would have guessed? Sadly, the man once considered for Dubbya's running mate in 2000 is only going to get a light senctance for his crime of accepting free work in exchange for sweetheart contracts.

We are living in the age of cloned-to-order pets. Good lord! The first customer is a lady who's beloved pet of 17 yers recently passed away, so they cloned the beast. I wonder if they'll call it by the same name or something new like Franken-Puss.

The US is playing more shenanigans at the UN by delaying the publication of a report concering Arab Human Development. could it be that the report has some nasty things to say about the US intervention in the Middle-East?

A new infrared wide area survey camera developed in the UK at Edinburg has delivered some stunning pictures of deep space and the Orion constellation.

And a Swiss student was busted by Australian cutoms officials for trying to play hide-the-salami.

The following were taken off of "actual" police car videos around the country. Regarldess of veracity, there's some pretty good lines in there.

"Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

"Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

"Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."

"So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

"Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh ... did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

"Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

"Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey poop."

"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

"In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

"Just how big were those two beers?"

"No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

"I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."

"You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here"

Here's a chilling report from the ACLU. Was there an executive order that told the US military to torture and inhumanely treat captives? Perhaps there was and the scandal at Abu Graib goes all the way up to Dubbya.

Second terms have rarely kind to presidents since Vietname. Maybe this will be Bush's Watergate, Iran Contra or Monica Lewinski...

Wow, for all us unhealthy types, it looks like exercise is not enough... I guess I need to start cutting out that 4th round of bacon...

Wednesday will be the big day in court for Todd Bertuzzi. According to the plea bargain he made, the prosecutors will get a conditional discharge with no criminal record for Todd. Let's hope he gets back on the ice as soon as the NHL is back.

Good news for the US and world economy.

Microsoft is getting itself in deeper in the EU with their Windows Media Player.

So even though the 'Bush Monkeys' picture was nearly forcibly removed from the art gallery that was showing it, the art has made it onto a billboard over the Holland Tunnel in Manhattan. It's nice to see that no matter how the swine try to censor the people, the people voices will be heard!

And these robbers in Brazil seem to be very concerned about erectile dysfunction..

Italy's low birth rate seems to indicate that people would rather have pets instead of children.

And wow, I never thought of Mexicans as being so prudish, but apparently you cannot be nude even in your own home.

Clean diesel options in the US are largely shut out by consumer taste (US consumers think diesel options are dirty) and lack of information -- who ever knew about these options? :

TDI Forum

Pictures

There are some very pragmatic steps we can take today on our way to the distant hydrogen ideal. I have just read and signed the online petition:

"Proposition for Importation of the VW Golf with 4 Motion"

You may not know that many nonliving things have a gender. For example:

1) Ziploc Bags -- They are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

2) Copiers -- They are Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.

3) Tire -- Male, because it goes bald and it's often over-inflated.

4) Hot Air Balloon -- Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it and, of course, there's the hot air component.

5) Sponges -- Female, because they're soft, squeezable and retain water.

6) Web Page -- Female, because it's always getting hit on.

7) Subway -- Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

8) Hourglass -- Female, because over time, the weight can shift to the bottom.

9) Hammer -- Male, because it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.

10) Remote Control -- Female. Ha! You thought it'd be Male. But consider this -- it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.

Here's some interesting factoids about the all time greatest hockey movie ever made, Slap Shot.

I'd rather not think about the next presidential election, but here's something to keep you up at night...

Man oh man. Where were these people in November? Now 56% of people say that the war in Iraq is not worth fighting. How long is it going to take before all those people that were so hot to go to war finally admit it was a distraction, a waste and a foolish adventure? Kerry must have really been a douche-bag to lose to a guy like Bush. Perhaps it is better that Bush got re-elected so he can clean up his own mess and they can't blame the Left for this.

Oh, here's a fresh scandal brewing for the Bushies to deal with...

Wow, now this is a sick one. And here are some more nice guys up in Wakerton Ontario that helped release E.Coli that killed 7 people.

So what is going to happen to Slate.com now that it's being bought by the Washington Post? Will it be the same interesting magazine we've come to know and love?

Looks like the people of San Antonio are very interested in regulating the topless dancing industry in their town. Not only do strippers, sorry I mean exotic dancer, have to wear tags to prove their legitimacy to work and they must stay 3 feet away from customers. I guess I won't be getting a lap dance there...

How long will it be until Starbucks buys the new roof top coffee bar on top of St. Peter's in Vatican City? Looks like the Pope needs a few extra dollars to pay off those sex scandals of his priests...

Looks like the Dutch start them drinking early. I wonder when the children are allowed to drive.

Who let the French out? Looks like these lucky journalists were set free by the savage militants because of France's anti-war stance. How many journalists are wearing the Blue Blanche Rouge flags on their arms now? How many American journalists do you think have the Canadian Maple Leaf on their packs?

Looks like French fishermen, not content with destroying fish stocks off the Grand Banks, are intent on finishing off the fish stocks of the North Sea as well. It's a crying shame. But soon it will not be an issue as the fish will be gone and these bozos will have worked themselves out of a job.

Canada and the EU are drawing closer together as a new round of trade talks will begin in 2005. What will this look like for trans-Atlantic trade? Does it threaten NAFTA in any way? What do the Bushies have to say about this?

I remember this one from last year. It's an oldie but a goodie for sure. Be sure to give the globe a good shake!

Sorry people, it's a slow news day...

China has just crowned the first, one and only, Miss Plastic Surgery. The official name of the contest is the 'Miss Artificial Beauty' pageant. For Feng Qian it took only 4 procedures to gain the crown, tummy liposucion, an eyelid fold, new cheeks and botox injections (just like John Kerry, errrr, maybe a bit different).

More good news on the justice front in Chile. Their Supreme Court is allowing the murder charges to proceed against the ageing despot.

The Sikhs in Birmingham are showing their interest in 'moral values' issues in regards to a new play.

Not the best judgment call by the hired help. Taking the family Mercedes instead of watching the toddler will end up this nanny in some hot water...

Urban Legend Watch:

• 'Son of a Gun'? It's amazing to think that people would really believe this explanation for this popular American phrase is really possible.


• Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer: so who created this story? Does it come from some deep dark past, like the brothers Grimm? Or was it a modern marketing strategy? Ho ho ho!!!

Here's an entertaining picture...

An old cowboy sat down at the bar and ordered a drink. As he sat sipping his drink, a young woman sat down next to him.

She turned to the cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"

He replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life, breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy."

She said, "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, I think about women. When I watch TV, I think about women. I even think about women when I eat. It seems that everything makes me think of women." The two sat sipping in silence.

A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"

He replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian."

I'm greatly looking forward to the new Wes Anderson/ Bill Murray movie the 'Life Aquatic'. Here's an example of this movie's plot actually taking place right now. Will the Aussies get the shark that ate a surfer (Nick Peterson) this week? How will they even be sure they got the right shark?

No conjugal visits oppressing this rebel leader's rights? Here's an entertaining take on human rights while in jail. I don’t think too many people in the US would feel too compassionate for this guy...

For all you Lord of the Rings fans, here's a study of Gollum's heath. Looks like the poor guy was not just suffering from the effects of the One Ring, according to some British and French doctors. He had vitamin deficiency, anaemia, hyperthyroidism and a metabolic disease called porphyria as well.

Looks like Canadian Prime Minister Paul Martin is determined to give Canada a larger role on the international stage. Not only is he going for a high profile trip to Libya this week, he's recently been to Mexico, the United States, Haiti, Sudan, Burkina Faso, Chile, Brazil, Russia, Hungary and France. Is he simple trying to differentiate Canada from the US or is he really trying to lead the world?

So Microsoft is now going to combat spyware as part of a Windows XP toolkit. That's great, guys, but how much extra are you gonna charge for this one component?

The US and the Saudis are still blocking any move towards reducing the greenhouse gas problem that Kyoto addresses for obvious reasons of vested interest. It seems that the world body is quite content to move on without these naysayers. Will the US be left behind with its head in the sand while other countries struggle to keep pace with the agreement?

Looks like the ultimate National Socialist cheated on his taxes. Perhaps the war was just a distraction for whatever scandal was brewing at home?

It's sad to see that the Canadian government is closing the loophole for Americans to buy cheap drugs from Canada over the internet. Perhaps this was one of the things Sire Bush and Mr. Martin discussed at Bush's recent visit? You know the pressure has to be coming from somewhere. Doesn't NAFTA play any role in this kind of commerce?

Looks like Vancouver Canucks power forward Todd Bertuzzi is not even allowed to play in the European Hockey League. I can't say I blame them after the Moore incident, since most European players are girlie men anyway (with a few notable exceptions like Foresberg).

Meanwhile, it looks like Gary Bettman and co may be cooking the books. The players Union recently released some alternative numbers on NHL economics.

An interesting article about Bush and Kofi Annan.

Watch out for Email viruses posing as Christmas Cards!!!

So is Bush going to have to fight not only the AFL-CIO but also the AARP to get his personal Social Security Accounts passed? What would Karl Rove think of those opponents? Stay tuned...

These Albanian gunmen had nothing to blow up the bus with but croissants and cigarettes. Another couple criminal masterminds go down...

Bobby Fischer is now going to Iceland? Will this guy ever have rest after winning the Cold War in Chess for his country in 1972?

The British High Court has ruled against he UK government's version of their own Patriot Act. Wouldn't it be nice if we could have the same objectivity of the courts here in the US as the British do?

Good lord! This is not exactly a story for the Christmas season. I guess eating your dead lover is one way to get rid of the evidence.

Oh boy, I sure feel safer to fly now. These geniuses on the security staff in Philadelphia can't even find their marked, fake bombs...

Here's another couple guys that might get a Darwin Award. It turns out this body amour was made to stop grenade fragments, not bullets.

This is amazing, the politicization just never stops with these people. Here's an entertaining article about Bill O'Reilly and folks' crusade to save Christmas from the 'anti-Christmas jihad'.

Here's another good development in the Israeli-Palestinian struggle. Abbas has called on the Palestinians to renounce violence. Who'd have ever thought that would happen?

The USA still cannot successfully test the shooting down of a ballistic missile. Why not? The Russians, of all people, recently did. We've poured billions of dollars into this effort and still have nothing.

Check out this nano-needle that researchers are using to manipulate things at a cellular level.

Paul Martin is worried about the growing US deficit? At least somebody in North American government is because clearly there is nobody in power in the US that does.

Silent Night is definitely the best tune she can play. I'm glad I’m not her neighbor!

Sounds like it's not just unscrupulous men who use the date rape drug...

Read about this cell phone 'hero'. Some people just have no manners. In this case, it took a 74 year old retiree to remind this guy to use his indoor voice and that he's not the only person on the planet...

The wife of Jack Wittaker now laments his winning the lottery. It sure sounds like it has not done much good for the guy.

Here's a little Duct Tape Justice in Guyana...

Phoenix Coyotes star Brett Hull turned up on the Weekend Update segment of Saturday Night Live and was asked, as a Canadian, what he thought about the recent landmark ruling by Canada's Supreme Court that gay marriage was constitutional.

`That's what happens in Canada when there's no hockey,' Hull said. `Guys have more time to hang out, talk about their feelings, next thing you know they're in love with each other.

If you are wondering if the vote shoudl be contested, try taking a look at this article.

When Congress reconvenes in January, at least 14 members of the House of Representatives will challenge the validity of the 2004 election. They will request an immediate investigation into many problems and irregularities encountered in the election.

According to the Electoral Count Act of 1887, one senator and one House Representative are required to contest an election prior to inauguration. We have the representatives; we still need a senator. Please let Senator Boxer know that we want her to be that senator.

http://www.contestthevote.org/

Note: If you're concerned about security, you can fill in just your first name, last name, and zipcode on this online petition, and leave the other fields blank. More info below. Thanks!

T

Check this out. The French, of all people, have just opened a bridge that is the latest wonder of modern engineering. How is that a small region in France has built a bridge faster, cheaper, more efficient and more pleasing to the eye than CalTrans' Bay Bridge project? I thought California, the technological lead of the world, would be able to build a bridge faster than 15 years, under a billion dollars and prettier than any bridge in the world. Oh well. God Bless America.

I guess not everyone is a Tom Wolfe Fan. His Latest book sounds pretty lame when it comes to his sex scenes... "But the hand that was what she tried to concentrate on, the hand, since it has the entire terrain of her torso to explore and not just the otorhinolaryngological caverns..." That sounds awful!!

And the PRC is a lot more conservative about sex than most people would expect. Could you imagine Howard Stern over there?

Some people seem to bite their dogs back. Weird.

A god fearing man indeed. Look what a little (well, to be fair, a LOT) of cash will do to someone's morals... It's the downward spiral...

Here's an interesting article about SPAM and getting off those egregious spamming lists. You thought my old SPAM was bad. Well check these guys out!

How would you like a little censorship with your Art show? Looks like the curator was not too pleased with one of the pieces in the gallery's show, 'Bush Monkeys'...

1. Get that abortion you've always wanted.
2. Drink a nice clean glass of water.
3. Cash your social security check.
4. See a doctor of your own choosing.
5. Spend quality time with your draft age child/grandchild.
6. Visit Syria, or any foreign country for that matter.
7. Get that gas mask you've been putting off buying.
8. Hoard gasoline.
9. Borrow books from library before they're banned - Constitutional law books, Catcher in the Rye, Harry Potter, Tropic of Cancer, etc.
10. If you have an idea for an art piece involving a crucifix,do it now
11. Come out - then go back in - HURRY!
12. Jam in all the Alzheimer's stem cell research you can.
13. Stay out late before the curfews start.
14. Go see Bruce Springsteen before he has his "accident."
15. Go see Mount Rushmore before the Reagan addition.
16. Use the phrase -- "you can't do that -- this is America."
17. If you're white -- marry a black person, if you're black - marry a white person.
18. Take a walk in Yosemite, without being hit by a snowmobile or a base-jumper.
19. Enroll your kid in an accelerated art or music class.
20. Start your school day without a prayer.
21. Pass on the secrets of evolution to future generations.
22. Learn French.
23. Attend a commitment ceremony with your gay friends.
24. Take a factory tour anywhere in the US.
25. Try to take photographs of animals on the endangered species list.
26. Visit Florida before the polar ice caps melt.
27. Visit Nevada before it becomes radioactive.
28. Visit Alaska before "The Big Spill."
29. Visit Massachusetts while it is still a State.

Wow, looks like the biggest software deal of this century has finally gone through. I bet those working at PeopleSoft are not too thrilled about working for the likes of Larry Ellison. Can you say, mass exodus? Honestly though, Oracle makes some of the best database software in the world, so I hope this doesn't sink them.

Finally, Pinochet is being charged for his crimes. Hopefully this will start the tide of charges to put this guy in prison for his remaining years.

Is there life on Titan, Saturn’s largest moon?

So maybe there is no safe place for terrorists, especially in not in a Sardinian jail. After all, Tony Soprano's boys won't put up with one al Qaeda Algerian.

Violent attacks on Beckham and Posh Spice? Well it looks like the Madame Trousseau’s nativity raised the hackles of more than the Anglican and Catholic churches.

There's no accounting for some people's taste, or lack thereof... I don't think I would dress up as a suicide bomber for a costume party, but this British soldier seemed to think it was funny, until he was taken to jail.

It's good to hear the fans of much maligned (and somewhat rightly so) hockey star Todd Bertuzzi cheered his return to the ice for a charity hockey game. I'm sure Steve Moore is not ready to forgive Bert, and I can't say I blame Moore, but for how long must Bertuzzi make up for his crimes?

Didn't these people learn anything from the Scopes Monkey trial in the 1920s? These rightwing religious extremists are taking us backwards as fast as they can. I fear for the future.

Now this is WERID. China seems to love the idea of physical transformation via the surgeon’s knife. Not like this is not prevalent in the USA, where we have many TV shows devoted to plastic surgery, but in China they have the world level competition...

deer santa:
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer.
Yer Frend,
BiLLy

Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I send you a frigging book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell!
Santa

***************

Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody!
Love,
Sarah

Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
Santa

***************

Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.
Love,
Teddy

Dear Teddy,
Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid, fat mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me get you some nice Legos instead. Maybe you can build yourself a family with those?
Santa

***************

Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys?
Your friend,
Thomas

Dear Thomas,
All the toys are made by little kids like you in China . Every year I give them a slice of bread as a Christmas bonus. I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the craps table.
Santa

P.S.
Tell your mom she got the part.

***************

Dear Santa,
I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE PLEASE could I have one?
Timmy

Timmy,
That whiney begging crap may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't work with me. You're getting an ugly sweater again.
Santa

***************

Dearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home?
Love,
Marky

Mark,
First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass kicked at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent, ghetto apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like all the burglars do, through your bedroom window.
Sweet Dreams,
Santa

Nominee Withdraws Over Memory Goof
December 11, 2004

Former New York City Police Commissioner Bernard Kerik withdrew his name from consideration for the post of Homeland Security Secretary after admitting that he employed al-Qaeda terror kingpin Osama bin Laden as a gardener during the late 1980's.

Speaking in Washington, Mr. Kerik said he regretted not remembering earlier that Mr. bin Laden had been in his employ, calling the memory lapse "a stupid mistake."

"When the president asked me if there was anything in my past that might disqualify me for the Homeland Security job, I've got to admit that I drew a blank," Mr. Kerik said. "I didn't even think of the three years that Osama bin Laden was my gardener."

Mr. Kerik's bombshell caused shockwaves throughout official Washington, with many administration figures wondering how an international terror mastermind came to work for the former police commissioner in the first place.

"The Osama bin Laden I knew was not an evil madman," Mr. Kerik said. "Back then, he was just a guy who was good with hedges."

But hours after Mr. Kerik's announcement, Mr. bin Laden appeared on the Arabic-language al-Jazeera network to say that he was "hurt" that Mr. Kerik had forgotten about the years he spent tending the police commissioner's flower beds.

"After all of the pruning, raking and mowing I did for Bernard Kerik, this is a real slap in the face," Mr. bin Laden said. "And people wonder why I'm so mad all the time."

Elsewhere, President Bush voiced support for U.N. Secretary General Kofi Annan, warning that a new head of the U.N. would mean "a whole other name I'd have to learn to pronounce."

A college professor, an avowed Atheist, was teaching his class. He shocked several of his students when he flatly stated that there is no God and he was going to prove it. Addressing the ceiling he shouted: "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you 15 minutes!"

The lecture room fell silent. You could have heard a pin fall. Ten minutes went by. Again he taunted God, saying, "Here I am, God. I'm still waiting." His countdown got down to the last couple of minutes when a young christian man just released from active duty and newly registered in the class walked up to the professor, hit him full force in the face, and sent him ass over teacups from his lofty platform.

At first the students were shocked and babbled in confusion. The young man took a seat in the front row and sat silent. The class fell silent waiting. Eventually, the professor came to, shaken. He looked at the young man in the front row. When he regained his senses and could speak he yelled, "What's the matter with you? Why did you do that?"

"God was busy. He sent me."

Here's another new development in Israel that may move the region a little closer to peace. It's amazing to see the Likud party, under Sharon, reaching out to the dovish Labour party. But perhaps with Arafat's demise, there really now is a feeling of optimism not seen since the Camp David accords in the 1990's.

More support from Kofi Annan this week. Is this Valentine's Day for him? He seems to be getting love letters from all over the globe. Perhaps he will be the one to mitigate the widening rift between the EU and the US.

Oh, and check out this news from the NHLPA. The players have just made a serious offer to the owners. This is the starting point to get the NHL back on the ice. It really is a generous offer that will cut players salary upwards of 24% in the near term. Let's hope the owners respond gracefully and in good faith so we can see some hockey in January!!!

What a drag at the new marriage...

Here’s An interesting demonstration to help stop the spread of AIDS in Africa. These people are taking a new step to keep themselves and their community safe. I've never been big on abstinence, at least not voluntarily, but it will help this area.

Here's one that is not exactly the most PC of presentationd for a chirstmas caroll, but it is worth a viewing for a Farely Brothers laugh...

Wow, what's with the change of heart of the Bush Administration towards Kofi Annan? They seem to be defending him from some Rebluplican Senators. It is some welcomed news. for those of you who believe in the mission of the UN.

Looks like the boys at the top are finally listening to the complaining troops below. I wonder what brought on this new interest in the well being of our troops? Where is the political pressure coming from? Why is this only coming out AFTER the election? I wonder.

Gay marriage as soon as next year for gays in the Great White North. The Canadian Supreme Court handed down a ruling that gave the go-ahead to the ruling Liberal Party.

Sleep sex? I've hear of slpp walking but this is ridiculous. Read all the way down for the punchline. There seems to be a pattern here.

Here's some entertaining investigations into Hair Wars and Ham Heists in Sydney.

Honesty is the best policy.

And finally, there may be NHL hockey again as labour talks are scheduled to resume.

Cyrus asked, "Daddy, how was I born?"

Dad replied, "Ah, my son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Well, you see your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on MSN. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a blessed little Pop-Up appeared and said, "You've Got Male!".

Rumsfeld's own troops are putting his feet to the fire. Has the Secretary of Defense ever been so unpopular with his own troops?

Dubbya is never shy about breaking long standing policies and traditions to get things done. I'm not really in favor of this in many of his efforts, especially with his environmental, energy and fiscal polices. But in this case, he's actually helping someone you'd never expect him to.

They are moving ahead with gay marriage in the Great White North. What will the Bushies think of their largest neighbor having both gay marriage and legalized marijuana, oh my!!!

Catholics, Anglicans and all hose guys are once again outraged by a gag. Any nativity scene that has Dubbya as one of the Three Wise Men has to be a joke!

More fun from the Onion: Wal-Mart's helping out it's stock price by rolling back employee wages, again!!!

Here's a nice little wipe out. Kids. Don't try this at home!

'Twas the night before crisis, and all through the house,
Not a program was working, not even a browse.
Programmers were wrung out, too mindless to care,
Knowing chances of cutover hadn’t a prayer.

The users were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of inquiries danced in their heads.
When out in the lobby there arose such a clatter,
That I sprang from my tube to see what was the matter.

And what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a Super Programmer, oblivious to fear.
More rapid than eagles, his program they came
And he whisfled and shouted and called them by name.

On Update! On Add! On Inquiry! On Delete!
On Batch Jobs! On Closing! On Functions Complete!
His eyes were glazed over, his fingers were lean,
From weekends and nights spent in front of a screen.

A wink of his eye, and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word but went straight to his work,
Turning specs into code, then turned with a jerk.

And laying his finger upon the ENTER key,
The system came up, and worked perfectly!
The updates updated; the deletes they deleted;
The inquiries inquired; and closings competed.

He tested each whistle. He tested each bell,
With nary an abend, and all had gone well.
The system was finished, the tests were concluded,
The client’s last changes were even included.
And the client exclaimed, with a snarl and a taunt,
“It's just what I asked for, but it's not what I want!"

This is a pretty good compilation of Bush 'quotes' put to music. Of course, some of these quotes are engineered from bits and pieces, but it's worth a listen and the beat is pretty good.

Here's a good quote from Louis L'Amour to start the day:
"A mind, like a home, is furnished by its owner, so if one's life is cold and bare, he can blame none but himself."

Not to quote Apocalypse Now to heavily, but isn't charging someone with murder in Iraq a little like handing out speeding tickets at the Indy 500?

So, once again President Musharraf, how secure is Pakistan?

Here's something about some North American home grown terrorists from Quebec. While these guys are clearly not the FLQ of the 70's, they are dangerous.

A condom by any other name is preferred, especially in Korea.

At least Bush can beat Bin Laden at something. Who would have ever guessed it was art?

For those of you who REALLY miss the NHL, EA Sports provides simulated scores.

And finally, you can get that MBA that your cat has always wanted. Merry Christmas, kitty!

And this is not really news, but Laura Bush's cooking recipes...

Here's an interesting article from the NY Times. It's a frightening trend of the 'reddening' of the news in the major US media outlets. Is this to say that every major TV media outlet will be like Fox News come 2008? I think that's doubtful, but it seems to be a frightening trend.

Sounds like the Supreme Court is doing a good job with the Klan. I mean, if your position is so repugnant to so many people that you have to wear a mask, maybe you should think about it a little more? Of course the poor misguided ACLU are appealing the decision.

At least somebody cares about saving our atmosphere...

Here's an interesting challenge to those who claim to know the spirit world.

Here's an interesting auction on Ebay. I wonder what the previous challenger would think of it.

Not a good way to help the suicidal...

Check out Lycos Europe's misguided attempt to get back at the spammers with spam of their own.

Strange, I thought the Brits were better educated than this.

Was there ever any question that Barry Bonds was using steriods? Well there isn't anymore. He finally admitted it to a federal grand jury.

One can only hope this means we might see some professional hockey again in the near future.

And the Greeks are letting Alexander the Great's bi-sexuality go unchallenged? I guess the offending scenes were removed and the language tonned down.

I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me your damn chain letters over the past two years. Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy. Because of your concern...

I no longer....

... drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

... drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.

... check the coin return on pay phones because I could get pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

... use cancer causing deodorants even though I smell like a wet dog on a hot day.

... receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaida in disguise.

... shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops.

... eat prepackaged foods because the estrogens they contain will turn me gay.

... eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

... date the opposite sex because they will take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.

... have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive my free replacement pair from Nike.

... buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.

... worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me.

... have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time).

... have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.

Yes, I want to thank all of you soooooooo much for looking out for me! I will now return the favor.

If you DON'T send this e-mail to at least 12,000 people in the next 60 seconds, a large bird with diarrhea will crap on your head at 5:00 pm tomorrow afternoon. I know for a fact this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of mine.

Gotta love this one from the Onion. Iraq's terror chart...

What the hell is the FBI doing investigating religious and protest groups here in the USA? Don't they have something better to do with their time and budget? They just got their asses handed to them in a 4.4 million judgetment against them for the Judi Bari case. Great. Go after the hippies and peacenicks, never mind those sleeper Al Quaida cells just waiting for the word 'go'...

And geee, guys, maybe you shoudl ask yourself 'What would Jesus do?". Something tells me that if he owned a television station and other mass media he would not refuse to air an ad to bring gays into his church.

It's about time the SEC went after those corrupt, lying swine! Go get 'em, boys!

Are those chickens finally coming home to roost for Pinochet? Let's hope he spends the rest of his golden years rotting in some dank dark hole of a jail.

Ahh, and here is Bush's real motivation for having such a cordial visit to Canada... Isn't the DEW Line enough for these guys? Regardless, it sounds like Mr. Bush was in fine form while North of the Border.

Some more interesting Canadian news. Are foreign strippers taking the jobs of the locals?

And maybe CIBC should not be giving out Canadian Tire money instead of Bank of Canada $20s from its ATMs?

Four rich brothers discussed the gifts they were going to give their elderly mother who lived far away in another city.

The first said "I had a big house built for Mama."

The second said "I had a hundred thousand dollar theater built in the house."

The third said "I had my Mercedes dealer deliver an SL600 to her".

The fourth said, "You know how Mama loved reading the Bible and you know she can't anymore because she can't see. I heard about a parrot that can recite the Bible. It took twenty preachers 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $100,000 a year for twenty years to the church but it was worth it. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it."

The other brothers were impressed.

After the holidays Mom sent out her Thank You notes.

She wrote: "Milton, the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway."

"Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home, I have my groceries delivered, so I never use the Mercedes. The thought was good. Thanks."

"Michael, you gave me an expensive theater with Dolby sound, it could hold 50 people but all my friends are dead. I've lost my hearing and I'm nearly blind. I'll never use it. Thank you forthe gesture just the same."

"Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to give a little thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious. Thank you."

Ken Blackwell, the Secretary of State for Ohio, has until Monday to confirm the election results for this November presidential election. His office maintains that there were no voting irregularities and the reported results will stand. Well, it may not be up to him anymore. Now there is a case before the Ohio Supreme Court. It's being pursued, not by those worthless Democrats, but by 25 disenfranchised voters.

As one would expect, the differing opinions fall along party lines. Here's an interesting article from Jesse Jackson.

It is strange to note that in the Ukraine, the opposition is protesting the result based on the fact that the exit polls do not reflect the election results. Why did this not happen in the USA? Perhaps the Ukrainian opposition cares more for their democracy than the current American opposition. Why are things different over there from the USA?

It was nice to see Bush so well received in Canada. I loved his quote, “thank the few Canadians who came out to wave - with all five fingers - for their hospitality.". I must give him credit. He’s a realist. He had a pretty good trip up to the Great White North. Hopefully relations between the great neighbors will get better.

Check out the Onion’s new Terror Alert Chart of Iraq. Also, take a look at their new report on the GOP’s social security plan.

And here’s a strange one from France. I sure as hell would not forgive him if I was her….